Upset

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Whenever I'm around other people it seems like they act really uncomfortable and serious around me while acting very friendly towards other people. I know some people are just jerks, but even the ones who seem nice act this way towards me like they are creeped out by me or something. I know it's a trivial thing and maybe I'm being too sensitive, but these things happen to me almost every single day with both strangers and people that I know. Most of these people are not a big my life, but when so many people treat me this way then I must be a really repulsive person to be around and other people won't want to have a really close relationship with me. I think it might have something to do with the tone of my voice, but I don't know how to change it without sounding like a fake.

I don't think "repulsive" is the right word. I doubt it very much, in fact.

Maybe, because you're quiet, they believe you might take things seriously.

They don't want to risk offending you by joking around with you.

People are really afraid of making a fool out of themselves; this is why they are serious around you--as a default, in case you are really a serious type.

I'm so sorry. From your posts here you sound like a very nice person, so perhaps there is just an unusual inflection in your voice or something like that.

Have you tried recording something and then playing it back to see how you sound? (I know I hate listening to recordings of myself.) Perhaps you could ask someone to listen to a recording of you speaking and see how it strikes them.

It is certainly possible to change one's manner of speaking, accent, tone, etc. -- people do it all the time and have all through history. It's just a matter of practice, and like anything involving practice it feels very awkward at first, and then eventually over time becomes second nature. People learning a new language have to spend hours practicing the accent; actors practice to represent a character; and so on. They all seem unnatural (fake) at first, and then over time become perfectly natural.

*Hugs* I'm sorry you're feeling this way. I don't think you come off as repulsive at all. Vocal tone can be a problem for aspies and I've had issues with it too. I often talk in a complete monotone especially when I'm feeling depressed. It's just something you have to work with, practice your inflection in the mirror and try it in conversation any chance you get. It will feel off at first but eventually your brain starts to adjust to it. You'll still have periods of monotone but it will become less and less over time.

Could be that your neutral expression on your face is being intepreted by NT's as being hostile, so they respond in a hostile manner. I find that smiling, if even forcing it results in others being generally more friendly when I force myself to smile. Maybe the same might work for you. Please don't take others behaviours as somehow a relfection of who you are as a person, I'm sure theres nothing wrong with you.

I think the expression is probably the main thing. My resting face tends to give people the impression that I am more serious than I really am. I do find that I get a more positive reaction when I force myself to smile. You might try looking at yourself in the mirror and try to concentrate on making adjustments to your normal resting face. If complete strangers that don't even know are reacting that way to you they must be getting the impression that you are an overly-serious person. I am sure that they do not find you repulsive.

I really can't see why people would dislike you.

You should keep us updated on how it goes.

It seems like when I smile people still give me weird looks. It helps a little though and I'm not going to stop doing it, but people seem to feel sorry for me even when I'm in a good mood.

Maybe part of it is that I'm tired a lot so I don't have much motivation to socialize and I just do my own thing so maybe since I'm quiet is causes people to feel bad for me.

Yeah I think as long as it helps you should keep doing it. Maybe a lot of people aren't used to seeing you smile so they are confused as to why you are so happy. But if you keep doing it they will just think you are a happy person.

Hard to say why this is without the specifics of the scenarios where it happens in, but it's hard to get those without, like, video footage or something else which is rather hard to get and would undoubtably get you weirder looks if you were to film constantly :-p

I experience similar issues where I seem to repel anyone who meets me. I wasn't always like this, but have been for quite a few years now.

I think for me it's the vibe I give off. I usually appear very serious, often disturbed, and frequently disinterested. I may not be any of those things at the time, but it's how I look and sound. I also don't laugh much. I can go crazy at something I actually find funny, but most people annoy me trying to be funny because I hate contrived humor. I also can be very negative and cynical, at least outwardly, seemingly because it's become some odd protective reflex in me.

So my point is it may be several smaller things rather than one big thing. Or maybe the type of people you've tried talking to are just dumb