REALLY Depressed

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Hi, I'm Tierra and I'm a Californian. I'm having a hard time right now. Northbay Regional Center hasn't transferred my case yet to Alta Regional Center, it's taking a while. Meanwhile I'm sitting here rotting, with nothing to do, nowhere to go, no way to get a job because I'm morbidly obese and also have a physical disability. My grandmother won't let me play video games nor watch tv in the living room because I don't have that much space in my room, she eats bad crap like potato chips and cake in front of me knowing I'm supposed to be on a diet because I'm WAY obese and she's not helping me. She's making my life a living hell and not letting me be myself. On top of that, she hates queers (I happen to be queer) and when I tried to come out to her reaction upset me because I come from a catholic family and NOBODY in my family is accepting of me. I feel like an alien, I don't belong ethnically, neurologically, personality wise,spiritually wise, body wise and gender wise. So I have the worse of both worlds. I REALLY wish I had more people to talk to. I've been on the wrongplanet IRC chat and I feel like they are not even accepting or even care about what I have to say so I now just try to avoid the Wrongplanet IRC chat sometimes because they too make me feel like an outcast and everybody bullies me, including my own kind. I feel isolated, alone, VERY unhappy and don't have many friend nor know how to make new friends or relationships. Right about now, I feel somewhat suicidal because I feel like I have nothing to look forward to or nothing seems to be going right nor am I accomplishing anything that I want to accomplish. I'm tired of staying in the same spot in life, stuck... I cannot take it anymore.

I'm sorry you're feeling this way.

I can't believe people bully you in the WP chat. I didn't know this "chat" existed. Ignore the bullies.

I wish you could tell yourself: This is the end. Now....I have to start over.

Thanks, I just needed to vent...