Fractured knee , brace , crutch now .

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Last Thursday walking across the street in the Tenderloin I slipped walking off the curb and fell onto the street on my right knee .
I went to the hospital and was admitted a couplish days .
I now have crutches and a brace on the Thurs.-damaged leg , the left .
I got issued two crutches , I'm trying going out with just one ~ I was released from l'hopital today . This is my first time out ~ and back at a computer ~ since going back to the place Thursday nite (After which I prepared to call the ER people - I didn't think my right kneecap was actually fractured , BTW , or that it , and not the a-bone-defect-connected problem on my left leg I posted about then , would put me in the hospital but that's what the right leg did .) . They were going to give me an operation on the right knee but the hospital backed away from that , fixed me up some and gave me the brace - made of plastic/whatever , I guess , not metal but that's still a brace , yes ??
So , crutches and a brace to walk with .
I suppose it might be an opportunity to improve my walking eventually - maybe - but I also think , " A start of the - long?? - ride downhill to the final end " .
I'm supposed to have the brace on all times out of bed .
With the small , and pretty crowded (& cruddy) room ~ I already had a problem taking off and especially putting on my pants , with there being danger of falling over when , with my difficulty with bending the left leg , I changed trousers , when it was just one leg ~ the left ~ being troubled with the additional factor of my having only 7&1/2 toes total and so having a lesser grip on the ground then . Falling over and hitting myself was a danger .
Now , both legs have damage , so I guess it may really be difficult in that room .
I am uncertain whether I can make it now in that room or not with this condition now , considering the excessive direct/reflecting light and
" lead/mercury " problems already exist ing there I've spoken of already .

_________________
Renal kidney failure, congestive heart failure, COPD. Can't really get up from a floor position unhelped anymore:-(.
One of the walking wounded ~ SMASHED DOWN by life and age, now prevented from even expressing myself! SOB.
" Oh, no! First you have to PROVE you deserve to go away to college! " ~ My mother, 1978 (the heyday of Andy Gibb and Player). I would still like to go.
My life destroyed by Thorazine and Mellaril - and rape - and the Psychiatric/Industrial Complex. SOB:-(! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !!

...So , I am using a crutch/es and wear a brace on my right leg to walk around now .
I mentioned that a diareea attack led to the destruction of the basic clothes I had on Thursday , there is only one full set left now (Including only one pair wearable shoes , a former other pair that I cut into clogs and left in the room is still there , in bad shape , meant-for-such-purpose indoor clogs would be better , getting additional outside shoes aside ) , what I am wearing now , plus some extras most of which need cleaning .
More money depleted/to be depleted to replace them .
I really dunno whether I can last in the SRO room now , as I said , with the double bad-leggedness making the previously existing dressing problem worse + more . IF I am poisoned by the " Lead/mercury " , or my eyesaight damaged by the excessive light , a room does not matter much .

_________________
Renal kidney failure, congestive heart failure, COPD. Can't really get up from a floor position unhelped anymore:-(.
One of the walking wounded ~ SMASHED DOWN by life and age, now prevented from even expressing myself! SOB.
" Oh, no! First you have to PROVE you deserve to go away to college! " ~ My mother, 1978 (the heyday of Andy Gibb and Player). I would still like to go.
My life destroyed by Thorazine and Mellaril - and rape - and the Psychiatric/Industrial Complex. SOB:-(! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !!

You should still stay in the room. Don't you think things would get worse if you go out in the street?

What is this "lead/mercury poisoning" you're talking about?

You have a fractured knee cap, and they didn't put a cast on it? That's rather weird.

Sorry for what happened.

...It may not be lead or mercury , but there is something in the room which gets to me - It is a very old (century I think) building , old buildings often have additives left in them from older days that we consider unsafe now . I know that there is something there that affects me , after a long time there I am stomach ache-y and head-depressed .
It goes away after I am away from there for a while .
It has to be real !
Yes , in my physical shape now , I can't much manage being outside , especially the getting up from the ground part ...I am inclined at times to romanticize the idea of being HL after a while not , " doing it right , even as a last time before landing indoors " ~ " have memories to recall/sound romantic for that book jacket/PR " ...........

_________________
Renal kidney failure, congestive heart failure, COPD. Can't really get up from a floor position unhelped anymore:-(.
One of the walking wounded ~ SMASHED DOWN by life and age, now prevented from even expressing myself! SOB.
" Oh, no! First you have to PROVE you deserve to go away to college! " ~ My mother, 1978 (the heyday of Andy Gibb and Player). I would still like to go.
My life destroyed by Thorazine and Mellaril - and rape - and the Psychiatric/Industrial Complex. SOB:-(! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !!

There is nothing romantic about being homeless...and you know that. You've experienced it.

It's not something I want to go through.

How long will the broken kneecap take to heal?

...Will it ever ?
Well , I sorta imagine myself a ramblin' busker , some Van Morrison (say)/Woody/Jack?? vision...Being HL and relatively taking yourself is actually a fairly diciplined lifestyle , you have to pick things upp ad go , and look for things:--...

_________________
Renal kidney failure, congestive heart failure, COPD. Can't really get up from a floor position unhelped anymore:-(.
One of the walking wounded ~ SMASHED DOWN by life and age, now prevented from even expressing myself! SOB.
" Oh, no! First you have to PROVE you deserve to go away to college! " ~ My mother, 1978 (the heyday of Andy Gibb and Player). I would still like to go.
My life destroyed by Thorazine and Mellaril - and rape - and the Psychiatric/Industrial Complex. SOB:-(! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !!

...A part of me keeps wanting - even housed - to take a busking break , I like singing/letting it out - but I tend to end up not doing it Like today .

_________________
Renal kidney failure, congestive heart failure, COPD. Can't really get up from a floor position unhelped anymore:-(.
One of the walking wounded ~ SMASHED DOWN by life and age, now prevented from even expressing myself! SOB.
" Oh, no! First you have to PROVE you deserve to go away to college! " ~ My mother, 1978 (the heyday of Andy Gibb and Player). I would still like to go.
My life destroyed by Thorazine and Mellaril - and rape - and the Psychiatric/Industrial Complex. SOB:-(! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !!

Sorry all that happened; here's wishes for a quick as possible recovery.

...I should add that , yesterday , I took one of the two crutches with me when I went out ~ Then , after I got back to the place , then to my room , with the one crutch , somehow , after I had opened the door , I found that one of the two crutches had disappeared ! !! !! !! !! !!
I don't know how , little posting time now , but I am down to just one crutch now .

_________________
Renal kidney failure, congestive heart failure, COPD. Can't really get up from a floor position unhelped anymore:-(.
One of the walking wounded ~ SMASHED DOWN by life and age, now prevented from even expressing myself! SOB.
" Oh, no! First you have to PROVE you deserve to go away to college! " ~ My mother, 1978 (the heyday of Andy Gibb and Player). I would still like to go.
My life destroyed by Thorazine and Mellaril - and rape - and the Psychiatric/Industrial Complex. SOB:-(! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !!

I am no kind of thinking that I will leave the room (if in stages) soon , become HL again ~ Perhaps using the room for occasional rest breaks , at least (presuming that this works out this way) till the people there offivially throw me out , for spending too many night away .
OR , conversely , possibly the problems with the room could be fixed by the Hot Team people - but I sort of doubt it .
The main problem is , perhaps , simply - THAT THOSE POISONS IN THE ROOM ARE AFFECTING ME SLOWLY BUT DEFINITELY , AND , THAT MY EYESIGHT IS BECOMING f****d UP FROM THE EXCESSIVE DIRECT & REFLECTED LIGHT ! A room is not worth having one's vision permanently affected for . And Love Canal and Chernobyl no doubt had rooms , as well .
Also , admittedly , I was brought down by it being brought home to me that , in fact , my " go to CCSF and take credits from there toa uni - but can I go to any place beyond this immediate vicinity , can I only take any credits there to unis in a 50-mile radius or so ? " question seems to be heading towards being answered ~ No . You cannot . I cannot take ANYTHING at CCSF - or any other CC in SF - and take them anywhere else but this immediate area (For someone at my academic/personal circumstances level , anyway - I.e. , me .) , That seems to be the answer , at least it's forming .
I detail the backgound of this in my Education " Crying when I die because..." post , but , I guess I woll have to , if I want to go to any uni , decide on a general geographic area I want to go to a uni in , and then , get there somehow and take CC credits to , I suppose , maybe get to start full-fledged uni in Fall 2018 . If I'm lucky .
The fact that I simply have not had enough money to try and " set up " a bit of a life here , with all the things I have had stolen from me/taken/used up/whatever , HUNDREDS AND HUNDREDS OF DOLLARS WORTH , as I have said before ,that I had to send money to replace , or do without , money that I could have spent on " better " things in addition to those first things , in this last year back here-Well , granted , that would still be a problem in a new place but at least the poison and eye-damaging room problem hopefully will not exist .
I am banned from the library , remember , too ~ and , what the f**k , my worker evidently will not even try to arrange a new hearing for me , just as evidently he helped create the problem the first time around by not calling the library the first time around and telling them that I was in the hospital at the time of the first hearing !
Either at this bizarre (if my life for oh , so , long ) " trying to scrape out computer time " level , or , say , if I did want to try to make a more " normal person's " use of the library - Like , borrowing books and DVDs and such - Well , that bit of " normal life " is closed off to me now , and , at my likely long time (Or forever ???) economic level , " no library : is sure a disadvantage . What am I supposed to do ?
It would of course be more expense to go to another town , wherever ...

_________________
Renal kidney failure, congestive heart failure, COPD. Can't really get up from a floor position unhelped anymore:-(.
One of the walking wounded ~ SMASHED DOWN by life and age, now prevented from even expressing myself! SOB.
" Oh, no! First you have to PROVE you deserve to go away to college! " ~ My mother, 1978 (the heyday of Andy Gibb and Player). I would still like to go.
My life destroyed by Thorazine and Mellaril - and rape - and the Psychiatric/Industrial Complex. SOB:-(! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !!

We're sorry to hear that.



Sweet Pea hugs