I don't know myself well. I don't have useful qualities right now and I can't find out a way to be more useful. I have no leader or no cause to be a part of.
I am in a way disappointed that the people who used to bully me have not tracked me down to kill me because I've thought that would happen for so long and now it hasn't and I don't know what to do. I can't move on because my emotional and social skills are still like that of a child. I don't feel I've improved much since 12. I cannot live like most people and be happy.
I'm upset that I allowed those who bullied me to hold me back. They never got any punishment. Even if I had let them kill me years ago that would be preferable because in the end they will almost certainly feel guilty and wouldn't do it to anyone else and I would have had a purpose.
I dont know how to live properly. I'm not interested in the things most people my age are. I don't have a desire to have partner and settle down. I know that most people don't think quite the same way as me. I'm not sure why how I think and feel is at odds with most ppl of my culture. Idk I don't feel like I belong here.
29 Jul 2016, 6:00 pm
