I'm too difficult for everyone so no one cares anymore.

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Everyone's given up on me, including my father and all my whopping 4 friends who I haven't seen in 7 or 8 months, because I'm too difficult to help.
I don't accept help anymore. I don't care about fixing my own suffering anymore. I just push people out of it and I'll rip your f*****g life apart if you try to get personal. Then they give up and tell me to go kill myself if I'm so beyond their help.

Hit 18. Yay. Now I can destroy my lungs with cigarettes, vote in elections I don't care about and are rigged anyway, and get drafted for wars I don't give a s**t about under threat of imprisonment if I don't submit. And for dessert, I'm expected to be fully responsible for everything in my life and every support system I ever had from being a minor has dropped. There are now officially no s**ts given about me and as far as the rest of the world is concerned, I can go jump off a bridge.

So what next? Be denied go to a college I can't afford by showing them my awful grades? Work a pointless job just to eat canned soup and sleep in a 6 foot long house? My childhood was a complete waste with no friends and my adulthood is just gonna be a huge workload with no payoff.

At this point, I'm about to start cutting. I'm done with all of your BS "support". My brain is neutered from full human experience because of this f*****g soul-cancer you call "Asperger's". I'd take any physical disease over this.

....I'm all alone.

No one came.

We're sorry to hear that.



Sweet Pea hugs

I think they are still calling this 'Puberty', at least where I'm from.

Think of the poor animals, if you ran away now, no one would mind.. join a circus or something.. maybe the third world, with some fresh insight who knows? a ringmaster would come in handy like a ringleader would around here, would.
Your vocation in life important, if you want to make a pact about something, try to honour it.