How Do You Obtain Your Own Sense of Closure

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If the opportunity for closure with a friend is not possible, how would you obtain a sense of closure with/for yourself, in your efforts to move on from an experience you shared with another person, such as a friendship that has ended, or similar? In addition, how do find the inner strength to completely let go and move on? Thank you-

I've had some "incompletes" in my life.

I figure: who knows? Maybe there are still "openings" in the future. People evolve/change.

In essence, unless there was real violence or meanness, I don't seek "closure."

I leave things "open," in case something occurs which changes the situation (e.g., a chance meeting months or years later, after lots of reflection, and months or years of personal growth).

Closure, to me, has the quality of permanence, which precludes the effects of potential growth, assumes that people stay static and never grow.

Thank you for your response, kk. I will contemplate your wise and thought provoking sentiments, although, I am currently trying to obtain a concrete resolution of sorts. A sense of semblance, or peace of mind, in an effort to move forward.

edit: perhaps I will consider your advice, as it somewhat, aligns with my current inability to let go of residual hope. I'm off to sleep. Thanks, again. Ciao for now.

I have absolutely no idea, yet. I have a few of those loose ends myself. It is painful. Painful to a point of being the point around which my entire life obssess some days.

However, I have noticed that with time the pain and rawness diminishes. The frequence with which they pop into my mind or ambushes me unsuspected decreases.

Every now and then I will wake up from a dream in which I encountered them in a positive manner. F.i I'd dream of a chance meeting somewhere where a conversation took place in which I could tell them in a good way how I felt, and they responded in kind. At waking up, my conscious thought of them would be a brief glimpse of acceptance that they/I had moved on and I, just for a second could let them go.

Over the span of my adult life 30+ years I have learned that at the end of a relationship where there are unresolved stuff - it ended badly, one party just walked away without a word, life took a weird turn and contact was just lost - we actually need to grieve as if the other person has died.

Something I have done to facilitate a concrete, hands-on resolution is letter-writing. Letters to the person whose loss I am grieving that I never sent (I then threw the letters in the trash or burned them). Simply telling them what I feel, what is on my mind in regards to the lost relationship. It did help to put stuff in perspective, sort out the raw emotions. I am not done yet. I still have painful ghosts lingering, but I am moving towards peace of mind bit by bit with each of them.
There is hope.

ChorisOnoma, I am most grateful for your kind and informative response. I appreciate you sharing your experience, and the tools you use to overcome your own grief and obtain a sense of closure for yourself. I will head your advice/words of wisdom. Kind regards, and best wishes to you, on your healing journey -