Normal people grandstanding about not needing meds.

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If anyone here recognizes me, hi. If anyone doesn't, I'm just some random idiot that comes on here to vent once in a while. Not a real member, not under an Asperger's diagnosis right now, but severe anxiety, depression, and a litany of health issues and neuroses. Sorry for putting this here, I just felt the need to vent here about something trivial on Facebook that kinda bugged me. Just using this forum as a sounding board so I don't end up taking out my rage on an ill-advised post to family members.

So, one of my family members left a meme up that more or less said that they deserved credit for dealing with life without medication. I realize their lives aren't easy. They have to work ridiculous hours on a mentally demanding job just to support themselves, while I am basically a bum. I get it. That's why I'm attempting to give them a pass and not commenting on their post. I did post, but deleted it after an unsatisfying exchange with the poster.

Anyway, onto the topic at hand. I'm alright on the medication I'm taking. I'm not completely without symptoms, and still somewhat of a shut-in, although that's more out of choice than necessity. When I go without medication for a certain time, symptoms return in force. There were many times when I thought I could skip or do without medication for an extended amount of time. After an incredibly scary meltdown in which I felt hunted by a certain group, and went full, beta-male victim coward mode, I decided maybe I need that help I was getting. I'll spare you the details of what happened afterward. Suffice to say, I'm on a good combination of drugs that I think will lead to me leading a productive life at some point, when I can find a job.

Their ignorance simply bugged me. I can't with any authority say I know exactly what they're going through that prompted them to post that, but I feel confident that I'm not weaker for needing medication. Otherwise, they'd be close to a breakdown. In fact, maybe I should express some concern on Facebook... Alright case closed, nothing to see here. Thanks for reading this wall of text.

Seems like a bit of ignorance on their part, though not sure it was ill intended. I've taken medication as of right now I am prescribed 5 valium a month for anxiety and trazodone if I need it to sleep...and aside from that whilst controversial depending where you are I also find cannabis helpful. I don't see anything wrong with medicating if it helps, the problem is if it ends up causing more problems than it's helping.

Yep, I just left them some words of encouragement. They thanked me. Glad I didn't go ape-shit on them. A lack of empathy on my part, being initially offended when it was just expressing some bad times she was having. Crisis averted. Phew.

I was extremely surprised at how effective medication is when I began taking it several years ago, I have no idea where the hell I'd be without modern medicine, I have many years of therapy alongside it and hopefully I'll embark on another slog of that at some point but who knows if I'll find it, I think therapy to explore the roots of things is five times as vital because there comes a point where you can be masking where the gales screech from.

I can survive without meds, but the people who surround me (as well as myself) are/would be thankful if they knew how volatile I am without them.

I thought it was fairly well established now that you can't just "get over" depression. Why would this person still believe so? What was the point of their post, did they say? Just to make themselves appear better than anyone on medications?
I'm not on psych meds and don't have anxiety or depression (partly proven in my mind that I could, in fact, just get over it with time - I was just having a hard time for a while, that does not equal clinical depression).
But I have encountered a form of this attitude so much, and it is extremely destructive. It seems to me to be people's way of excusing their own behaviour by saying if you have a problem with it you're "weak" and not actually calling them out, and therefore if you completely deny your own well being and allow them to continue you must be "strong," or simply just trying to put others down and raise themselves up to appear better than others because they're "strong enough" to deal without drugs, whereas you're not. Ayone of a rational form of thought would argue it has absolutely nothing to do with strength - depression is an illness. As has been said before, no one calls out a diabetic for taking insulin as weak, and they should just get over it and learn to cope without it because everyone else can. It's all manipulation.
Sorry that was a bit of a tangent rant. I just hate that behaviour. If medications is making your life better and your quality of living is improved, then I say don't let anyone make you feel less for doing so.

Plenty of NT folk do need meds - for blood pressure, diabetes, and a host of other chronic physical conditions. If they're not considered 'weak' for needing theirs, why should you, I, or anyone be considered 'weak' for needing what we need?

This person seems to be implying that he or she may need or could benefit from medications, but chooses instead to heroically soldier on without them. I've seen this type of attitude before, that people who take psychiatric medications are somehow cheating at life like doping in sports. Truth is that such medications don't do much for people who don't suffer from a mental disorder. If, for example, a person who is not depressed is prescribed antidepressants, he or she will not feel better or "high," but likely only experience side effects such as anxiety.

Also if this person does need medication and is refusing to take them out of some misplaced attitude, he or she is being selfish. Mental illness doesn't just affect the person suffering from it but has fallout on friends and family members. Plenty of people have tough jobs and work long hours, but don't unload their misery on others or seek sympathy in a FB posting.

Thanks for the support and understanding all. They were just in need of a word of encouragement, but the meme was poorly chosen I'll grant. Still, I'm glad I didn't let the ignorant attitude drive a wedge between us. This is someone who's been very supportive to me in the past so I didn't want to drive them off by getting offended publicly.

Sorry, but these family members are idiots. Wouldn't it be arrogant of me to say "Hey, I survived life without insulin shots (what's wrong with you!)" when I'm not diabetic? It's the same for f*****g depression. It's a disease that often has physical causes and physical symptoms for f**k's sake. It is arrogant to assume you just "cope better" when YOU don't have a f*****g CLUE what's it's like to have depression 24/7 365 days a year regardless of whatever is happening in your life. Sorry. This crap just pisses me off. You shouldn't have to put up with it.

You're right Marshal. It was wrong of them to say it on many levels. Sorry if this topic has offended or triggered anyone. I just need a sounding board for the things that bother me from time to time, and this forum has always been welcoming.

As for the family members in question, I attribute it to ignorance rather than malice. I can't hate them for saying it, because they didn't mean any harm. But I understand where you all are coming from. Thanks for reading my rant.

It still pisses me off to think about it, though, so I understand completely. It bugs me that I come from ignorant people and may be one myself and not even fully aware of it. One of my fears is that sometimes we can't even see our own personal flaws.

Hopefully more will read what you all have written here and realize there's no shame in medicating for psychiatric disorders. As an older guy, I guess I came from a generation where it was looked on as a weakness and that idea still lingers.

It's generally bad form to discuss one's mental health on facebook. Chalk it down to bad judgment on the other person's part. Do not involve yourself in discussions about these things, all you do is prove yourself as silly as them.

What can I say, people are different. Different things work for different people. Don't take this personally, this person seems to suffer from poor self-esteem since they feel the need to brag about absurd things like this.

Sorry for raging. This thing does trigger me. I don't know how to confront people like this without being angry. I feel like if I don't express anger they simply won't understand how hurtful they are being. It's not just emotionally hurtful, it effects your whole life when society discriminates against so-called "non-physical" (a stupid misnomer BTW) disabilities. The greater burden you face is invisible to others and others don't alter their expectations at all. Instead people have this notion that "being tough" and "having the will to battle through" cures depression when it just doesn't. People push this attitude on you, then to the point you yourself almost believe it. But then you try and it turns out to be false. Putting more and more stress on yourself just makes the depression get worse and worse. If you "have the will to battle through" it's most likely because YOU ARE NOT TRULY DEPRESSED. YOU SIMPLY DO NOT UNDERSTAND! True perseverance is surviving while having no will. With no dopamine reaction, there is no "will" or "meaning". It's called anhedonia. Normal people derive meaning and will power through a dopamine reaction that is simply missing in many depressed people.

Last edited by marshall on 22 Aug 2016, 10:46 am, edited 1 time in total.

Yet people are allowed to discuss illnesses like cancer or diabetes without being judged.

Yes, there is a hierarchy of illnesses. But posting about diabetes on facebook won't make your diabetes worse. Posting about your depression can, though. I'd rather post about depression here on WP where people are more supportive, and there is some anonymity.

Edit: Where I live, there are quite a lot of people who would have the gall to call cancer or diabetes sufferers whiners if they were to post about it. Maybe not so much cancer, but certainly diabetes or anything chronic.

Most people who don't have to take it have seriously messed up ideas about psychiatric medication. They either believe that it's ultra-powerful brainwashing drugs that take away your free will and turn you into a happy zombie, or that it's all a con and does nothing. Sometimes they manage to believe both. Meanwhile, we are supposed to recover through sheer willpower- never mind that in most cases our "willpower" is one of the things that's sick.

There are those who know a little more, but still think we should rely solely on talking therapies. Which is a lovely idea, but not in this world. If suitable therapy is even available... let's just say, psychotherapy is at least half a century off being an exact science. My own brush with Cognitive Behavioural Therapy showed it to be an exciting mixture of treasure and trash, with some of their flagship techniques actively making things worse for me. The most sensible therapist I ever had was more than happy for me to be on SSRIs: they stabilised me enough that I could actually DO the stuff we talked about in his sessions. /rant

Here's Robot Hugs' take on it (if the link works!): http://www.robot-hugs.com/helpful-advice/