such has been a similar difficulty for me for quite awhile. to me, it's hard to get anything done that isn't mere task mastery since there are no others that share my vision/goals to share growth or victories with. it's like, the only way anything gets done toward my goals while on my own is if moving the goal close enough to stumble through, and make tons of tiny goals in such a manner as if focusing on solitary steps along a long journey rather than dare focus on the end goal destinations that are nowhere near being in sight.
my desk is covered in many books/studies that have no reason to have gone unread for so long by now... it'll probably only get smaller if choosing one to finish reading at a time, and putting all the others out of sight. the conviction of having so many heavy things stare me down at once seems counterproductive, as the weight looks too heavy to my tired burnt out eyes, and everything just gets put off for another day.
_________________
七転び八起き