Hard to care when you don't see yourself having a future ...

Post Reply New Topic

I'm referring to school here. I've posted a bit on this before, but I've been feeling worse lately and I need to vent I guess.

I really can't do anything about my life. I'm doomed to be unemployed and thus I'm so unmotivated. I'm not even crazy about the idea of working if we're being honest, but I don't know ... everything (life in general) seems pointless. I'm doing horrible at school (with my major) and my cumulative gpa is going to drop below a 3.0.

0 work/internship experience, 0 extracurriculars, a gpa not below a 3.0 (with a potentially even lower major gpa) ... I'd be lucky if I even get called for any interviews. No one would want to waste their time on me (even for internships). And I'd obviously mess up during the interview as well, with my traits being immediately obvious and the interviewer just getting turned off due to the awkwardness.

I'm considering taking an extra year to graduate (currently a senior) just because I'm not ready to enter the real world. I might double major with something that's rather irrelevant with my major but has reputably high job prospects according to my school (ideally I wouldn't screw it up). Or I might just end up switching majors and dropping my current one, because things really aren't going so well. My only problem with this new major is that most of the courses consist of semester long group-projects, which I dread, but it's most likely what to expect in the real world anyway.

I just feel like complete sh*t because of how much money I've already wasted and how much more my bland existence is costing my parents. I realize I'm fortunate to have whatever financial support I get from my parents (even after I'd disappointed them by switching career paths entirely), but I still can't get myself to do anything ...
I actually wanted to pursue this major yet I still couldn't get myself to do the work for it, and as a result, borderline failing a few classes (at best I could pass with C's, but again, someone like me would need to have stellar grades in order to make up for everything else that I lack).

It may sound like I have "a plan", but I really don't. What's probably going to happen is that when I'm taking courses in my new major, I'll be just as demotivated as I am now (after noting how unfit I am socially with everyone else) and flunk those classes as well. I'm just wasting my life. And before anyone suggests it; taking some time off school is out of the question. My parents just wouldn't let me.

I'm really just hoping to die before I have to deal with all these mistakes. Every morning I'm disappointed whenever I wake up. I can't believe this is my life. I don't know what to do because I've just been becoming more low-functioning as time goes on.

I anticipated writing a lot more to this, but I'm so frustrated. I can't think straight.

Seems like your parents aren't understanding of your situation at all. Just how much have you opened up to them when explaining that you really need to take a break before you have a serious meltdown? Having to continue to push yourself like this can not be good for your health. Hopefully you can get through to them before you end up hitting rock bottom.