I need to come clear about stuff

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Hello all,

Let me give you just a rundown of my lifepath untill now.
I am 23, I live with parents. I dont know what to do.

I have never developed myself, I just loooked superficially at facts and just rund around.
I have not developed interests. I am fake and am fake around people(also my own family), I dont really care for this and have no moments of selfthinkingtime I would name it.


I also have a weak personality and can not break away from my little fears( like being affraid of catching something alltough there is now real reason for it based on more expert opinions.)

I fear growing up(maturing out of my parents home) because I will most likely never make real friends. I also feel like a loser.

Right know i know that I dont want to be who I am, and I am really at the end of it all.

I am thinking of achieving intellectual/personal/characteral development. I am litterally extremely superficial and lack strength in my personal decisions.
I have problems with abstract thinking( I am like a child in that area), I am verballly very gifted and litterally only used memoryzation and intuition is school. I am basicly like a closed book to everyone, I also have difficulty really outing whats in me, I constantly change the things I say I am thinking is wrong with me or that I shhould do etc(I have been with a psychologist for over a year now.)

What can I do to really do something. Because It feels like I have no real inner motivation to change or develop, at the same time I am unhappy and want to be a different developed and strong person.