Just another dumb day at work and in life

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Today has been such a dumb day.

My working memory is pretty shocking at the moment so work is proving difficult, I work at a cafe and primarly take orders from customers and drop dockets off.
The kitchen lost a docket during lunch service and asked if I could remember who ordered it, I couldn't as I have a bit of a memory wipe once I move onto the next customer so told them I couldn't remember.
The food came up and no one else had figured it out - they all stood there staring at me as I wrung my hands and told them I honestly couldn't remember!
One of them rolled her eyes and told me in a snappy tone to look at the kitchen dockets and match it with a table which isin't eating, why did no one else do that?
I checked and asked a couple of tables and found it. My memory was triggered cause I remember the runner had asked earlier on if they were eating and I said I didn't remember so will look at the kitchen dockets and couldn't find one, guess they're not eating then!
So as I carried the food out so I could apoligise to them for the delay the runner said (I thought) rudely "are they set up??" I though from our previous exchange she knew they wern't, I felt like such a fool having to mumble "No" and have her grumble behind me.
I tried really hard to stay positive as I experience a lot of anxiety when these 'mistakes' happen and try to not let it show but everyone ignored me for the rest of the day and I was left pondering what just happened. How did I get blamed for someone else losing a docket? This happens a few times a week and I feel a bit like the work scapegoat, 'just blame it on her cause it's not MY fault'.
I've had a few meltdowns at work from these sorts of situations, I manage to hold it in till I get home and then have a bit of a cry as I don't have to pretend anymore.

I also have a huge, huge change coming in my life where I have to move and live on my own - my partner and I have broken up and I am taking small steps towards finding a rental. I'm in limbo and know I need to get a place to start over but it feels so beyond my emotional limits.
I got 3 emails today that properties I had set up viewings for have been rented so I can't view them anymore, so I am back to looking and having to contact more real estate agents - it took 2 months to motivate myself to look in the first place.

I also have been saving boxes at work that I'd like to pack stuff in and went to take them home at the end of my shift - only to find that one of the girls (who dislikes me for reasons I don't understand) had recycled them. I put my name on them, let everyone know they were mine and put them in the staff cubby so they wouldn't be removed but apparently she decided they worn't worth keeping. I felt so devastated, I carefully selected the ones I wanted and they matter because I want to start packing to make it more 'real' in my head that I have to move. What gives her the right to chuck them out!! !

I am left feeling like I try to take a step forward and something holds me back five.
My work has this "family" approach to their working lifestyle but it's just another group of people I had hoped to fit in with and it's backfired, again. My boss mentioned today something about having a work BBQ at his place sometime soon and I immediatley started running through the list of excuses I could use to not go.

I'm sick of trying to fit in so I don't think I'll try anymore.
I also feel a little frustrated at myself as none of them are people I am interested in being friends with so why do I care so much?
It's like my whole life I've been told by family/friends I can get along with anyone cause I'm good at dealing with customers and have believed it, I guess I'm now realising that a short interaction with someone is fine but interacting on a day to day basis with workmates is redicluously hard and I can't seem to get it right.

It also makes it hard to concentrate on moving, I had hoped to have everything finalized by the end of the month, maybe by Xmas is a good goal to have. There's just so much to do as I also have to buy new house things, I don't know what to tackle first.

Right now I am once again suprised by my mood shift, I felt so low when I got home but now I'm teaching my flatmate (that's what I call him now) to feed the birds as he will gain custody of them when I go. I get to give helpful pointers about something I know how to do really well!

Chur for reading, any thoughts/similar experiences?