Not doing well

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Used to be on this forum a ton five or six years back. Life changed. I lost my job, but got married to another aspie. We don't need me to work. But I did have to move somewhere I hate. It's hard enough being social if you get confused and are slow at things. But people are so just plain mean here. I just need someone to talk to. Even online would be okay, but I haven't been able to find a chat room where people are at the most basic level of polite.

Just wish I had someone to talk to.

Hi there, and welcome back

Thats a lot of changes to get used to, maybe try the off the wall forum here to pass some time playing word games and such with others that also like polite interactions, its a nice distraction when you have the time.

Maybe you could feel a little more comfortable in your new location if you started voluntary work as a way to start building up your own connections in real life; it would also be good for your sense of self, or attend a short course on a topic that interests you. You must feel a bit isolated as things are now, I think that is a normal reaction.

Thank you for your reply. It means a lot to have any response. Good advice in general, and I have been doing precisely that for the last four years. But the area I'm now in is very uptight. I have recently started stuttering something horribly, so end up sounding like an idiot in the classes I've been taking. I've been told to leave from all the volunteering spots I've tried because I don't smile enough. Not making that up. This has never happened before.

North Carolina is not a welcoming place.

I will try the off the wall forum. I just need someone to interact with who isn't screaming about the election.

I really do appreciate your response. It is kind.

You're welcome. Im on the other side of the Atlantic, I dont watch tv and even Im sick to my back teeth of all the extra tension because of the election lol, it is the crazy season indeed.

Its late here and I'm up early, so I will wish you a good night

One of the best things about living abroad was a lack of US news...got the International Herald once a week, and that was enough.

I am sorry for the way my country is behaving. Once I am in charge we will all develop a bit more empathy and possibly all take a remedial course in how to have a polite public discourse.

Enjoy your day. I hope it is pleasant.

Just last week I talked to a webmaster about online discourse--people say things online that they wouldn't say face to face.

Maybe you could volunteer at a senior center or hospital where people aren't so busy and in a rush to do things? Places where the pace of life is a bit slower.

Aziz Azari (probably got the last name wrong) just published a book called "Modern Romance" on how people do some damn weird and self-defeating things when they interact over devices. It was amusing, and has actual data.

I've tried that type of thing. It's been really successful in the past. But there are some massive class and race issues here, and I have married into a very particular social class, which I am not natively part of. Loosely, at this point I'm white and upper middle class living in a the very religious and conservative Southern US. Okay, the white part's always been there, but the rise in social class is new. I grew up REALLY poor in a timber town in the Pacific Northwest and waver between being agnostic and atheistic, depending on how annoyed I am. The local chiffon and cotillion set doesn't approve of the flannel and the tattoos or the refusal to condemn, well, everybody who isn't also a rich, white, conservative southerner. And I've travelled too much to hate anybody before I've met them.

If it wasn't for the local political climate, I think it would have worked better. But at this point I'm sort of scared to go to the grocery store.