Some thoughts

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Just, I probably need a psychiatric counselor to just speak with, but I'm gonna say some fears that have been on my mind that I can't get out. Like, I had a birthday recently, and I can't stop thinking about death. Like at night, trying to fall asleep, just get woken up by a cold chill in my chest by imaginings of what it feels like, all the stuff I would miss, like the universe just ending. And also, like i am wasting my life, have no like drive or energy to do any of the stuff I want to do. And often when i have time, I waste it online, or sometimes helping my dad since he needs an assistant but they won't give him one. It's not depression per se, I guess, but definitely feel down and a little scared and unnerved.

I noticed you didn't get any replies to this so I thought I'd post here. Those thoughts sound scary. What have you tried to deal with them? How often do you get them? Try and hang in there.