Joe90 wrote:
I really cannot stop myself from getting depressed over what others my age are doing with their lives and how liked they are by people. It's like I fear being an outsider and seeing others "above" me.
OK I am in a healthy romantic relationship with a man and I have a job, but I still feel incomplete, not so much with the relationship part but more the career part. When people my age are managers of a company, it makes me feel ashamed of my low-paid "make do" job. So now I am looking for more of an office type job, rather than cleaning. I just hate feeling beneath everyone.
My social life status doesn't bother me as much as it used to since I've been with my boyfriend, but I do get upset if I feel left out of gossip at work or if someone ignores me but doesn't ignore others. There used to be this rather strange girl at work who seemed rather awkward socially. Friendships never lasted and she has never had a boyfriend. She even resigned from work because of a childish incident she had with one of the other workers. But people at work, who didn't really know her that well but knew about her social awkwardness, still speak to her on Facebook and reply or like her statuses, but not mine, even though I'm more socially laid-back with people, can maintain a relationship, and can engage in small talk and banter with people at work.
Things like that seem to get to me. Does anyone else feel like this? Is it self-doubt?
Well I don't even have a job let alone a professional career of any kind, looking to get started with some likely low level minimum wage work through a program called Vocational Rehabilitation to help disabled people gain employment currently I get disability income. So yeah I certainly notice others my age seem further along as far as that kind of stuff goes and I know it has to do with the aspergers and co-morbids I developed partially from the aspergers being unrecognized for so long. I also am in a relationship which is going well so that certainly helps my morale I suppose.
So yeah I certainly feel a bit behind in a lot of ways, and I think I can be a bit immature at times but I try not to be...its mostly when I get frustrated or angry when that comes out.
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We won't go back.
02 Jan 2017, 1:23 pm
