Do you dread getting old?

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MSBKyle
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22 Dec 2016, 2:11 pm

For me, I have always dreaded growing up and getting old. Getting old scares me. I have nothing against old people, but whenever I see an old person who can barely walk or function on their own, that scares me to think that one day that could be me. I know I am young now, but I never want to lose the ability to do simple everyday tasks. I don't want my body to age. I don't want gray hair and wrinkles. I hear people say that life gets better as you get into old age. Getting old doesn't scare me as much, it is aging that scares me. Getting old wouldn't be so bad if we didn't age. I would like to have a mature mind in a teenage or 20-something body looking body when I'm older.



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22 Dec 2016, 4:46 pm

Well, unfortunately you don't really have any choice in the matter lol! No matter what you do, every day that passes, you're older.

The best thing you can do is to take care of your body. Keep your weight in check, exercise, take care of your teeth, drink plenty of water, etc.

You can't stop the aging process but you can lessen the damage done to your body over time.


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22 Dec 2016, 11:56 pm

I don't fear getting old. I do fear infirmity at any age. I hope I do live to a healthy old age and, when I die, I want it to be in the process of doing something active, like playing tennis.



fourcandles
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23 Dec 2016, 1:55 pm

I don't dread being old, but the thought of spending my last years in a care home being forced to take part in "fun" social activities gives me the fear. I'd rather pass away in my own armchair and treat my cat to a meal :twisted:



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23 Dec 2016, 2:02 pm

I don't dread getting old per se, in and of itself, but I do worry about financial concerns, the pension situation, my ability to keep working and at what, exactly, as parts wear out or cause too much pain.

I also relate to what someone said about fears of being stuck in a care home where you are forced to join in the regime there. I'm fiercely independent and fiercely protective of my solitude and my right to make my own choices with my time, and I will rather just die than wind up in that situation of reduced autonomy.



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24 Dec 2016, 9:56 am

Well, guess what, I am old. I'm also that hunched over older person with disabilities who sometimes needs help getting into a building or her car.

I fear getting robbed if I'm alone in public, and like all of us, I worry about having enough money to be comfortable in old age.

But the thing about disabilities is, everyone gets something as they age, unless they die young. The common joke among us elderly is, "Getting old is awful . . . but it beats the alternative." I am old enough to have several people of my acquaintance die from disease (mostly cancer). Then here am I, infirm, but alive and (weakly) kicking.

I don't take life for granted, in fact I treasure every minute of it. My husband is a decade and a half older than me, and has a neurodegenerative illness that in time will take him, if something else like heart disease doesn't take him first. But for now, he is more physically able than I am, and I am more mentally able than he is. We try to be kind and thoughtful and we use our mutually compensating abilities to overcome our disabilities. It's a beautiful thing.

I retired this year, and my husband and I participate actively in a senior center. I am finding people there are very accepting and supportive. We are all impaired, aging people trying to make life better for other impaired, aging people. And you know what? Recent studies have found - contrary to researchers' expectations - that elderly people are actually happier than any other age group! Put that in your pipe and smoke it!


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BirdInFlight
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24 Dec 2016, 10:28 am

That senior center sounds great, Bea, but I'm more concerned about a state facility where disadvantaged elderly have no option but to live as residents because they are either too infirm for other living situations, or are dependent on the state, which I fear may ultimately become my fate. That type of place in the UK can be grim. There is a segment of the elderly that face a problematic old age due to a number of circumstances. I don't think that group are necessarily in the happiest demographic, but I can see that those who have retired comfortably or at least with adequate means, supportive family, and relative autonomy probably are. That's not everyone, though.

I'm perfectly serious that at some point my life will probably become unsustainable in practical terms, mostly with my choices and autonomy taken from me (which could be a reality in my specific situation) and I would rather plan on walking into a lake, seriously.



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24 Dec 2016, 10:50 am

I, too, am old. I'm 66 and a third. I think this is the best time of my life. Really. There are no demands on me any more. All that chivalry stuff? I need it! I can't get out of the car by myself. Sounds bad? Nah, everybody's bowing and scraping to get me out the car and through the slush, up the stairs etc. And they don't want anything from me at all. I'm free to make social mistakes, free to lisp, free to limp - none of it matters any more.

When I retired, I took an oath that, having survived a career, I would proceed to an enjoyable old age. For that I would have to begin social skills training, kind of life in reverse. But I worked hard at it, studied the things they give kids, plagued the medics, spent a fortune on teeth and practiced flashing them, and on and on.

What a coincidence: Zsa Zsa is dead, yesterday. And my internal Zsa Zsa, the one my family and society wanted me to become, is also dead, and will not bother me again. For you youngsters, Zsa Zsa Gabor was my generation's Barbie.



BirdInFlight
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24 Dec 2016, 10:56 am

I still firmly believe the good stuff that this period of life brings is only when you have a certain level of practical security and stability in place. Not even "wealthy" necessarily but just secure.

There are some elderly who face financial issues as they retire, particularly among the autistic who may have had patchy work history, be due little or no pension, etc.

My personal situation? My generation cannot file for state pension until we are 67, some of not even until we hit 72.

I may have to be working until I'm 72. I will then get the minimum pension, and by then god knows how much the basic cost of living will be.

Save money now?

I can barely keep my current very basic bills paid and decent food to eat. I am one of those people who have tried hard and worked hard and I'm still at the lowest rung of the ladder of good fortune.

Some later years are going to be grim for some people and not always through entirely their own fault. It's easy to say everyone should have planned or saved, but if you're low wage all your life working hand to mouth all your life or part of it, that's easier said than done.

Sorry but I strongly feel the divide between "Loving my retirement/old age" and those who may have a grimmer future is very much dependent on some of you probably being surrounded by good choices and good people. Not all of us have made all the right choices.



Last edited by BirdInFlight on 24 Dec 2016, 10:58 am, edited 1 time in total.

BeaArthur
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24 Dec 2016, 10:57 am

I can't comment on circumstances in the UK, BirdInFlight, other than to say what I hear is concerning.

I'll just mention that there are many, many supports here in the US for seniors to remain at home. We have hot meal delivery, car rides for people who no longer drive, home visits by nurses and social workers, assistance with repairs, supports for utility bills, as well as elderly communities where residents look after each other. Many of these services have a small fee, while some of them are on a sliding fee scale or free. American seniors do worry about the big change in government (perhaps you've heard we are venturing into the unknown this coming January!).

When a nursing home is the only answer, the costs are astronomical (like, $30,000 a month!) but many find that government support will kick in once the person's funds are depleted. Both private-pay and government-supported nursing homes can be found to have very poor or very good service, it differs widely.


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24 Dec 2016, 12:11 pm

I was always afraid of growing old without ever having really grown up. Now that isn't such a problem.



Kitty4670
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26 Dec 2016, 12:04 am

I'm 46, I worry about getting older & being alone.



EzraS
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26 Dec 2016, 1:44 am

As long as I'm not severely affected by ailments associated with old age, then I'm fine with it.



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26 Dec 2016, 1:51 am

Yes. I want my life to be over sooner, not later.



alk123
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26 Dec 2016, 1:55 am

Yes, especially when I've yet to fulfill many of the things in life that people younger than me have already accomplished. I've been told I'm having a mid life crisis, yet I've yet to have any real friendship, job/career, or college education.



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27 Dec 2016, 6:09 am

Yes I dread getting old for a number of reasons

1. As I get older I get more and behind people my age in achievements. I see people who are younger than me achieve greater things than I ever could. As I get older I get further behind the level expected for my age.

2. As I get older I have less energy in mind and body. My memory gets worse. I've heard people say they could really push themselves back when they were 20 but not when they're 30. That means that as I get older my opportunity for achievement diminishes. If energy level peaks at 20 - 25, I've already squandered that high energy period by sitting on the couch and doing nothing.

3. I will never experience young love.


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