Warning- Long post.
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My mother never talks about anything but homework.
I know this sounds like a heavy exaggeration, but I am being 100% honest when I say that she hasn't mentioned anything but homework ever since school has started back up again.
It's not just her discussing it frequently that bothers me, but more so the fact that she has an unhealthy obsession with it.
The most significant example from my younger years was 2 years ago. I was 12 years old. my mother wanted me to start working on my homework at 5:00. That time rolled by, and I had about 1 minute left in my game of Town of Salem. It was ranked mode, so I wasn't about to get up and leave. I decided to finish the last 60 seconds when I noticed my door open.
My mother stared at me, her eyes already narrowed accusingly.
"Have you started?"
I smiled sheepishly, and said "Oh, uh no..sorry. I have about one minute left in this game. I'll get right to it when I'm done."
She looked at me for a second.
Two seconds.
Three seconds.
Then she screamed like a dying animal.
It was loud, ear splitting, even.
Her cries slowly morphed into tears, and she ran out of my room a sobbing mess. My dad heard her cries from downstairs, and stormed up into my room. You could tell he was angry by the way his foots thundered as they slammed against the stairs.
He went into my room before even consulting my mom about the problem, and immediately grabbed me by the shirt. He glared at me, and his eyes terrified me. They were fierce, borderline animalistic. I know it sounds ridiculous but I honestly thought I was going to be killed.
He began to scream obscenities at me immediately.
"You're f*****g disgusting, your mother didn't do anything to deserve this BS."
"You ruin everything for the family. Is that it, huh? You just hate us having fun?"
" I can't believe you made your own f*****g mother cry. You are a horrible person. I hope you know that, you piece of f*****g s**t."
"You don't do anything for us. We give you everything, and in return we get this. I hope you don't wake up tomorrow "
He ended his rant by dropping me to the floor and storming out, muttering something about how he hated me as he left.
He walked into my mother's room, and began to comfort her. She was crying to him about how she wanted a better daughter, how I ruined her life.
She went on about how she hated me for an entire 30 minutes. I wanted to leave my room and go somewhere else so I couldn't hear them, I really did. Yet, something kept me there. I never will know what.
Eventually, she and my father went downstairs. I calmed myself down for about 30 minutes after that, and went down to apologize despite the fact that I was hardly at fault.
I walked out and she met me at the bottom of the stairs.
"What do you want."
"To apologize."
"Did you do your homework, yet?"
"No, but I needed to calm down.."
SLAP
her cold hand hit me, hard.
To this day, I remember that slap, as well as the pure hatred in her eyes after she had done it.
I am not a bad child. I'm a bit lazy, but far from bad. I do not scream at my parents, and I am generally obedient. I have done nothing to warrant this kind of treatment, especially considering the love and affection my sister recieves.
This has been continuing on for about 3 years, but nowadays my mother doesn't cry. She just yells.
Homework is mentioned to me at least 15 times a day, and my mother often contradicts herself. I have been told to do my homework by the end of the day, but then she came up again 30 minutes later and said "Start this NOW. You have untill 3:00 to get it done."
She always sets time limits for assignments, too. I'll be given a project that is due in three weeks, and the second she finds out about it she'll make me complete it in two hours that day. Then, when I get a bad grade because she gave me two hours to complete something that should have taken me 10 over the course of two weeks, I get punished.
She emails all of my teachers obsessively, and if they say one thing negative she'll start screaming at me, telling me I'll never amount to anything.
My teachers are constantly nagging at me because of my mother's constant emailing.
Yesterday, my mother screamed at me for not finishing a science worksheet. (I didn't do two problems because I didn't know how.) She looked so full of hate towards me while she said it. Just like two years ago.
She then woke me up at 12 AM to say "WHY DO YOU HAVE AN UNFINISHED ASSIGNMENT?"...which was actually extra credit from the previous marking period.
Now, I am posting this today because of something that just happened.
My mom barged in screaming, her voice louder than a dying pig. "WHY DO YOU HAVE A ZERO ON AN ASSIGNMENT IN SPANISH CLASS?"
The assignment was due monday, we were supposed to do it over Thanksgiving summer break but I had forgotten. Despite having a 90% average in his class and never missing an assignment, he still wouldn't let me make it up for partial credit.
I explained that to her and she told me I was banned from my computer tommorow.
She didn't tell me she was going to start doing that after school monday, so technically it dosen't apply to this assignment. In addition, as previously stated, I have a 90% average in that class.
She didn't care, though. I went downstairs to talk it out with her, but she told me to "shut the hell up."
I can not deal with this anymore. I have started getting panic attacks at school extremely often, and everytime I get a bad grade I start crying because I think she is going to yell at me. I don't know what to do anymore.
29 Nov 2016, 9:34 pm
