Completely intrusive, inappropriate nosy questions

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BirdInFlight
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10 Dec 2016, 10:28 am

What the hell? I've just come home, it's a normal time of day here (as I type this it's 3.16 in the afternoon on a Saturday) but a neighbour who passed me on the street outside my building and stopped to chat just asked RIGHT off, right after "Hello" --- "Where have YOU been out to then?"

She does this all the time and she isn't the only one in my building. And she doesn't ask in a friendly way like she's just trying to chat for chatting's sake, she asks while directly looking into my eyes with a stern face; she asks like she actually does want to know. I'm not bad at picking up things, it's one of my non-Aspie traits, and this woman isn't just making chit chat, she really does ask like she thinks she has a right to know all your business and where you've just been and where you're going. She also asks outright "Where are you going?"

This lady is not on the autism spectrum; she's just really blunt and nosy as hell, but I'm having a hard time dealing with this stuff especially since it means I need to be "prepared" just trying to leave or come home!

Is this normal???? Does every always ask everyone, even just neighbours or barely acquaintances, "So where are you GOING?" Or "Where have YOU been today?"

It's driving me crazy as I have NO intention of just telling anyone who asks everything about my life and where I go and what I do. It's none of anyone's business.

And I'm sick of having to be armed with a deflective response, though I see that this is the only thing I can do unless I want to keep giving personal information away.

I have no intention of saying "I've just had a doctor's appointment," "I've just been conducting my hobby," "I've been doing my shopping," "I've been to see a friend" ----- IT'S NOBODY'S BUSINESS!! !! !! !! !! !

Whatever happened to bumping into someone and both of you just saying ""Oh hello there, lovely day!" or just how have you been, well, I trust? Oh I've been fine, and you?

I can handle those meaningless pleasantries; I know how to deal with those although it has to be said, even those catch me off guard.

I just can't deal with this vey direct demand to know where the hell I've been. What do I say to stop this crap?

I know this is not the most heinous problem a person can have, but it's one of those tiny things that pile onto all the other things that make everything feel like something you can't stand much more of. :(



the_phoenix
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10 Dec 2016, 11:11 am

Oh, I had a nosy neighbor once.

She once caught up to me while walking with a friend of hers
and asked, "Oh, I see you're taking out the garbage?"

I smiled really big, placed the trash bag directly under her nose, and asked,
"Yes, would you like to smell it?"

"No thanks, just curious ..." she replied.

"Well, that's one way of putting it." I grinned, rolled my eyes at her, and walked away.

I don't suffer fools gladly anymore.
More fun being mischievous ... :)

...



BirdInFlight
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10 Dec 2016, 11:16 am

Quote:
I smiled really big, placed the trash bag directly under her nose, and asked,
"Yes, would you like to smell it?"

:lol: :lol: :lol: That made me actually laugh out loud!! Thanks for this, I needed to lighten up and laugh!

You're right, getting mischievous about it is probably a good way to nip this kind of thing in the bud. I'm going to have to script things out ahead of time and then the hardest part will be remembering to engage my script! But yes I'd like to say something a bit cheeky next time.



Private Idaho
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10 Dec 2016, 11:51 am

This lady is probably the neighborhood busybody who feels entitled to know what everyone is doing in their private lives. Just give her vague and innocuous answers like "oh I've just been out and about. Bye now."



BirdInFlight
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10 Dec 2016, 11:58 am

Thanks Private Idaho, I like the "just out and about" followed by a quick bye now. Another thing I have to remember to do is to physically keep moving too; I tend to just kind of stop in my tracks even where I think most people would firmly keep walking and smiling until they've passed on by.