Girlfriend very depressed

Post Reply New Topic

My girlfriend, whom I also strongly suspect has Asperger’s is really struggling with depression. I am not sure how best to help her. She is very distant and whenever we do speak she never opens up at all.

Like me, she is a loner and spends most of her time in isolation. So far, I have been giving her lots of space and letting her know that I am here for her. She has a history of depression and has been going through a new but unexplained phase for a few months. Her feelings for me are still true and it's 'not us' that's the reason behind it. I sense she could be hiding something from me. Maybe a condition or trauma that is a root to her problems, but won't tell me due to fear? I don't know....can only speculate.

I really really want to help her. We are perfect together with so much in common, interests and likes etc. I would even go as far as calling her my soulmate...but it is getting to a point of frustration and helplessness.

Do I take the direct approach and ask her to open up or do I continue waiting on the side-lines hoping she comes to me?

I seem to remember you posting about this not long ago, that she was very withdrawn and said it was something about you mentioning seeing each others siblings or something.

Sometimes the best thing to do is just flat out ask. But in a nice way. Say that you're concerned about her and you care about her and she seems to be very down and ask what is bothering her. Sometimes people are very willing to talk about it but hesitant to be the one to bring it up. It's almost like they want someone to notice and ask them. Sort of attention-seeking behavior. (I'm not saying that is what she is doing, just speculating).

Good luck anyway.

Yep that's my intended plan. My last post was about finding out why she was distant; now I want to find out why shes depressed and how to help her.

I think it'd be good for you to ask; sometimes it's hard to bring up heavy subjects like these, it can feel like you're being a burden or 'too much' or something like that (speaking from personal experience). If there is something she doesn't want to discuss though, don't push it. She clearly loves you and she'll open up in her own time. Sometimes, especially if there's trauma involved, the process of letting it out can take a huge toll on a person so... baby steps!

I'm glad she has someone who cares about her so much. It is truly a difficult situation for both of you, so best of luck. <3

Yes ask her and put out your hand to help. That's what people who love each other do.

Depression can get terrible around the holidays.