are we insensitive?

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Have you ever been told you're insensitive ?

Autistic people are not a hive mind. Those of us who are part of the autism community are a subculture, like Trekkies or goths. Everybody on the autism spectrum is an individual with their own personality. It's tempting to define your life by your diagnosis but it's not a healthy way to frame things.

I happen to have high empathy and have been told I'm too sensitive, though my sense of humor can be irreverent at times and that can lead strangers to make snap judgments about whether I have any empathy at all. However, that's just my experience and I don't speak for everybody.

My experience is mixed.

I have been told that I'm a very caring, generous and easy to talk to individual. People recognise that I care about them very much - even if I don't know them particularly well. I do want the best for everyone and I do all that I can to help people.

That said, though nobody's said it outright, I do know that I probably come across as insensitive. In fact, I see it as practicality, but sometimes people don't want or need practical solutions - they just want some sympathy and for someone to validate them, and I'm not as good at that as perhaps I should be. For example, if someone tells me how much they hate their job, my response is more likely to be "apply for new ones, then", than a simple "aww, I'm sorry to hear that". I do the whole "aww" thing, but quickly move on to solutions. And if people complain about the same thing for weeks/months but make no effort to change anything, then I'm not going to keep going with the sympathy.

So yes, I probably do come across as a bit insensitive sometimes, but it's not done out of malice but out of trying to help people. And, generally, people do recognise that.