Feeling super depressed but am reluctant or panicky about me

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Hi. I have severe depression now and have in the past though I feel different each time thru this cycle. Like I am good, down, better, down, better?, down. I didn't get diagnosed high functioning autism by a specialist till this year. The doctors went thru many diagnoses before that proved wrong for ex.: schizophrenia, ADHD, phycosis. My phycologist and I went thru a lot of talks to find this out.She's the one who recommended the specialist. The thing is after having to take anti pychcotics as an older teen, and going thru anxiety meds plus later some anti depressants. I've become rather scared of meds. I was just given setraline low dose w cognitive therapy. They said a combo should work, but I am reluctant of the meds now. Plus a situation at home that never seems to change has me feeling this regardless. Any suggestions?

I could have sworn I put meds instead of me on the topic. I don't know how to edit that. It was probably auto text.