I kind of want to talk about how I'm feeling but then I don't but I think i'm going to, if you don't like rants or people moaning please don't read this because I need positivity not negativity. So i'm currently feeling very numb/feel myself getting really low again (I had this about a week ago became really happy and suddenly my mood has dropped again) about life. I live with my family (my mum, step-dad, little brother + sister and my older brother visits (he's at uni)) and i'm really struggling to cope with my step-dad, we used to have a really good relationship and got along really well. He's basically my dad since he is a better dad than my own dad if that makes sense but i'm really struggling to be around him anymore as my mum has had to tell me he's an alcoholic (I never knew/never looked out for the signs) but I watch him every night he works all day, then at 3pm when mum goes to pick the kids up from school he goes and gets 3 drinks but hides one from my mum as she has confronted him about his drinking, he's going to a group for addicts and is telling everyone he's drinking 2 but always goes out for ages to his car to drink his other one. I know this because he always comes back uptight with everyone and shuts himself away/is disconnecting himself. Me and my little brother have written letters to him about how we feel about it and he said he's going to cut down but hasn't and isn't even trying. My mum has to talk to me about it since she can't trust anyone else and since I'm home all the time (I'm homeschooled), but he's making her miserable and she is getting to tipping point. My mum may ask him to go live with his mum to sort his drinking out and that really scares me because i'm worried their marriage will just end. As I said before he's my dad and is a way better dad than my own so knowing this could happen is so scary since I could be basically loosing my dad for the second time. And i'm scared that i'm gonna loose contact with my step-dads family who again are way better family than my dads. But then again I just want my step-dad to leave because of how miserable everyone is, how much it's hurting my mum and the fact that everyone is walking on eggshells/running around after him all the time.
None of that probably makes sense but I just needed to rant asap to stop me from getting in a really low point.
Heyitsannax
27 Dec 2016, 7:12 am
