Hello, I am still around....

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Since the 10th of November, I have been hospitalised for depression.
But I'm still alive, yay.
I don't know if that was sarcastic or not. This is taking me ages to write because I don't know how to word things.
The depression sort of stemmed from a few different things that happened all at once, the worst being family troubles and my Mum not speaking to me. I can't stand it when someone won't try and solve an argument or something like that. Once I saw a quote, "Don't go to bed not speaking, stay up and fight!" I guess that would be my motto in a relationship. Mum says I always take other people's troubles as my own. It can't be good when you get depressed easily, as I have found out.
It got to me so much that I left and while going, took an overdose of pills. Then I thought about what I had just done and threw them up. All in all it felt like a pretty dumb thing to do. Not as dumb as walking 80 kilometres to get to a hospital which is what I did next. Walking and being alone while I walk is somehow very peaceful to me. However, I know I just can't keep doing that when things get too tough for me.
So when I got to hospital, I was admitted immmediately. They must have got the gist of how upset I was because although I wasn't crying, I couldn't talk much either.
The psychiatrist put me on antipsychotic medication. That only lasted three days because I twitched too much. It was an unpleasant experience.
I have since tried three other antidepressants, all with minimal effects. Apart from side-effects.
So now I am to try the last resort, ECT (electro-convulsive therapy). It is said to work when medication won't.
It's weird, everyone is scared for me about it but I am not. It's like I don't care what they do to me anymore, so long as I can get on with my life and live it how I used to.
I start the ECT this coming Wednesday. I have to go 12 times for it, with a day between each time.
Well, I guess that is my news for now, I didn't disappear off the face of the planet (heh).
Feel free to ask me any questions or comment, even if just to tell me what a dumb-ass I am!

renaeden.

And I'll stand by you, no matter what. :: nods vehemently ::

GA

Your presence has been missed greatly and we're glad to have you back. Hope you feel better!

It is so good to hear from you, renaeden! Thank you for the update.

It sounds like its been a tough time but you've done a fine job of hanging on. Good for you.

I hope the ECT does the job so you can get back to where you want to be.

Please keep us updated.

BeeBee

all of the above. welcome back.

Thanks all of you.
I feel more comforted by the reassurance of WP people than I do of those in rl right now.
Partly because they are all giving me horror stories about ECT. Strangely not comforting.

Renadeen:
Welcome back.
btdt

Hey! Cool to see y'all here too.

Posted: Sat Dec 31, 2005 10:16 pm

Does anyone bother to check?

hehe...

Flooding old messages eh?

Meh.

It's nice to know that people care after all this time.