Planning stuff because I'm a coward *suicide talk warning*

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beelzemutt
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03 Jan 2017, 7:31 pm

I've been researching abit about ways to die without pain or chances of failure and it's turning out that drug overdose or hanging myself are the best options. I won't do anything until I'm 18-21 so I can choose what happens to my body after. I know this sounds drastic but it's a longterm plan. Just want advice on getting by with life until then and if there's a more effective way that won't hurt but still do the job. AGAIN I AM NOT KILLING MYSELF NOW SO DO NOT ACT WORRIED. If anybody wants this deleted it's fine I'll take it down I'm a crybaby who has nobody to cry to so sadly I have to let it out somewhere.



Raleigh
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03 Jan 2017, 7:45 pm

Why do you say you're a coward?


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the_phoenix
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03 Jan 2017, 8:45 pm

I hope you will feel better by the time you're 18.
In fact, I hope you'll feel better tomorrow.
In fact, I hope you'll feel better an hour from now,
or even, as soon as possible.

Best wishes to you in the New Year!



beelzemutt
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09 Feb 2017, 9:39 pm

Things are only getting worse, cue the sad violin music because at this point who the f**k even cares I want to die I don't want more medication I no longer even want a diagnosis for autism to know that I'm not just an insane piece of s**t,,, I can't function in normal society and nobody cares not even my f*****g family so f**k this s**t world hope other people get better cuz I'm not.



feral botanist
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09 Feb 2017, 9:55 pm

beelzemutt wrote:
Things are only getting worse, cue the sad violin music because at this point who the f**k even cares I want to die I don't want more medication I no longer even want a diagnosis for autism to know that I'm not just an insane piece of s**t,,, I can't function in normal society and nobody cares not even my f*****g family so f**k this s**t world hope other people get better cuz I'm not.



I never wanted to live past 30.

I would look around and see these old, fat, white guys destroying the world, hurting people to satisfy their unsatisfiable greed.

Something changed for me, not sure what, but it did.

I always keep suicide as an option. Not that I want to die, but I am often tired of fighting everything to exist.



CharityGoodyGrace
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10 Feb 2017, 2:26 am

Nobody is a piece of s**t.

What is insane in your opinion?

If oyu want to PM me and complain to me, or complain to me in this thread, I'm free. :) I like listening to people's complaints. I like helping people solve their problems too.

Do you by any chance feel stigmatized? Just curious.



Shahunshah
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10 Feb 2017, 3:48 am

Hi Beelzemutt sorry to hear you are feeling that way. To be honest I do not know how things are for you but I have got some things to say to you.

Firstly you in all likelihood not insane what you say is what me and many of my Asperger's friends have experienced. It is just that you seem to be going through struggles.

Secondly things can get better. I am 16 now but last year I was depressed and wondering if I was losing my marbles but thing is most things better and now I am really happy. If that can happen with me than why not you?

Also never call yourself weak the fact that you are tolerating some hard stuff in your own life just makes you stronger. Never forget that.



Noca
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18 Feb 2017, 2:40 pm

Hey there. Sorry to hear you are feeling so low that you are thinking about ending your life at some point in the future. It isn't cowardly to feel this way, and it is alright to cry, feel sad, depressed, frustrated with how life is going and having a family you feel doesn't give a s**t. You won't find any judgement here. I've been there many times so I can empathize with how you feel.

I see you are in Canada, have you ever tried speaking to kidshelpphone before? They have trained counselors 24/7 365 days a year, and I've found them to be very empathetic and friendly to talk to back when I was in my late teens. They are completely annonymous so you don't have to worry about being forced to be taken anywhere against your will like a hospital or anything just because you reached about to talk about your thoughts of suicide with them. They don't have call display. You can call them for any issue really, you don't have to feel suicidal to speak with them, and their service is free. They have instant message, texting services or online forums if you feel more comfortable communicating that way. Why not give them a try?

https://www.kidshelpphone.ca/teens/home/splash.aspx

1-800-668-6868