I Am Broken!

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I need fixing, I'm living in a messy apartment, I have trouble taking showers now, my bad mood is out of control. I felt more stronger when my mom was alive. I'm trying to take care of me & my cat, I'm failing! I'm failing as cat mom. How much more can I take? Lately when I wake up in the mornings, I just want go back to bed, it is safer in bed. I also feel like my apartment is giving me a very bad reaction. I really hate what's happening to me. I feel like I'm breaking down, my bones are sensitive, sometimes I can hear cracking in my knee. I'm 46, my body feel older than my age.

*Hugs*

I would really make the effort to take a shower. Taking a shower WILL make you feel better. I've been through this sort of thing myself.

Sounds a lot like depression, have you seen a doc recently or a therapist?
If not then please do.

Perhaps it's something physical.

I'm taking showers, but it not what you may think. I'm having trouble standing up, I can sit down in my tub, but I will have trouble getting up.

I'm ok today, I did a little packing yesterday, I wanted to clean a little too, but I had a panic attack, it felt like I couldn't breathe.

I am 46 years old as well and your symptoms sound familiar to me as my body aches constantly. I've given up on it ever getting any better.

I'm sorry about your mother. I am not sure how I will handle it when my Mom passes. She's 74 years old. I'm actually living with her right now while I finish a course I'm taking.

I'm sure you're a fine mom to your cat.

I would encourage you to try to get out of your place at least once a day, even if just for a walk.

The breaking down feeling could be depression. Have you been prescribed any antidepressants?

i am broken too!

Thanks! I lived with my mom for 37 years, when I became an adult, I wasn't mentally ready to move out, she was the only one in my whole family that really understood me, we were very close, we even hung out together, we went shopping & to the movies. You are lucky you still have your mom. Most of time, I'm a good cat parent, but she can drive me very crazy! I mean mentally crazy, I'm VERY Sensitive to noise, I can lose control & yell at her, she can give me anxiety too.

I want to go out more, I want to buy something first to protect myself, there are more crimes in my town.

Buy a shotgun and carry it around in the open! No one will dare lay a hand on you

If she's in California, she'd immediately get arrested if she doesn't have a permit for it.

And it's a felony if it's loaded.

I'm living in California, I'm not getting a shotgun, I think a frog horn or air horn, I forgot what it called, someone told me about it, it's better than mace.

Geez I didn't know you Americans were so liberal. I'm moving to Somalia were I can legally carry a machine gun and never have to pay taxes.

I do that too. I have one particularly pesky kitty who like to site on my laptop keyboard if I leave it unattended. He has had some FB chat conversations with my friends.


I've never bothered with any devices with regard to personal safety. I instead have found that not being fearful is the best strategy. If people see you are afraid of them it insults them and they respond in kind. If someone is scaring you, talk to them.

That's the way I go about things.