Why am I like this and what is it?

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Analogy: Say if I had millions of pounds and a big mansion with a swimming-pool, and a friend or relative of mine had a million pounds and bought him/herself a big mansion with a swimming-pool, I would feel jealous, even though I have exactly the same.

Why do I get these feelings about other people when they have things I already have? I don't think it's really jealousy, I don't know what it is. I just get this depressive sort of thing.

(In case you haven't read my post properly, I have NOT got millions of pounds nor a big mansion. It's just an example).
Is it because I see everything as "the grass is greener on the other side"? Or could it be because I have AS and the only one in the family with it and it has always made me afraid to see others succeed in life and that for once I want to feel 'superior' to at least 1 NT? I don't know how to change the way I feel.