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Kilroy
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18 May 2007, 1:27 pm

My family (my mom, my dad and my brother) are all NT's and I am not...
I have no idea where my aspergers came from but more importantly I've been rather in the dark about many of the things I do because of lack of knowledge.
They have really no idea how I work andthink (and tell me) I'll have a normal life
I'd like to beleive that...
I've never met another aspie before-so I've had to learn everything on my own.
My family have never brought up the idea of support groups or anything-they just leave me to my own devises and go about they're lives pretty much ignoring me as I get older.
I just don't know what to do...
I just don't think they get anything



ChrissandraChrissamba
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18 May 2007, 2:32 pm

How much do they know about Asperger's syndrome themselves? Have they read much information on the topic?



Kilroy
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18 May 2007, 2:37 pm

my mom has
my brother knows a little bit-from what I told him
my dad knows s**t



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18 May 2007, 2:46 pm

I grew up in my dad's NT household, but my mom and her family are loaded with AS so I didn't feel as isolated as you do. Everyone knew I was "nuts" like mom's bunch and they went fairly easy on me.

Can you join an AS support group? I really enjoy mine! It gives you a feeling of being understood, and a comfortable social environment that's not loaded with any mysterious communication landmines. I'd really recommend it.



Kilroy
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18 May 2007, 2:48 pm

I donno
how would I bring that up to my parents?
they're not easy people to talk to



ChrissandraChrissamba
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18 May 2007, 3:01 pm

Kilroy wrote:
I donno
how would I bring that up to my parents?
they're not easy people to talk to


What reasons would they have for not being okay with you going to a support group?



girl7000
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18 May 2007, 3:03 pm

I think joining a support group would be a really good idea too. The group I have joined have been amazingly helpful and it's been great to meet people who I have so much in common with.

As for your parents, I can really empathise as mine thought that any kind of 'difference' or disability was shameful, so they just ignored my needs and problems and speaking to them about it was pretty much impossible.

There are 3 solutions I can think of:

1) Find a support group and tell them that you are going to go and, whether they like it or not, nature made you this way and you are entitled to seek support if that is what you need. (Also it shows your parents what a resourceful child they have!).
I do appreciate that this method may be a little too confrontational.

2) Find a group but don't tell your parents that it is an AS group. Say it's an art group, or that you are going there because you want to do voluntary work, or that it is a study group or something.

3) If it looks like the idea of a support group is really not feasable, I find that I get a lot out of websites like this (I can see you've made over 2000 posts, so I'm guessing you do too) so it may be that you have to rely on that as your main form of support - try to get as much support and communication that you want from fellow aspies online as you can without it causeing problems with your parents.

I'm sorry, I know that these aren't particularly great suggestions, and I'm sorry that your parents don't understand it as well as they could, but unfortunately this are the only possible solutions I can think of right now.

Well, good luck and I wish you well.



Kilroy
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18 May 2007, 3:05 pm

thank you-I can't lie to them
they are very nosey people :roll: plus I have no life so they would know
I just don't know how I could ask them to go to a support group
I want to...but what would i say



ChrissandraChrissamba
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18 May 2007, 3:28 pm

Kilroy wrote:
thank you-I can't lie to them
they are very nosey people :roll: plus I have no life so they would know
I just don't know how I could ask them to go to a support group
I want to...but what would i say


Why exactly would they not be okay with you going to a support group? Are they ashamed of you having Asperger's syndrome?



Kilroy
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18 May 2007, 3:32 pm

I don't know if they are
I know I am

I just don't know how to ask them



calandale
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18 May 2007, 3:34 pm

Maybe if you write it down?
I find it easier to communicate
that way.



Kilroy
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18 May 2007, 3:35 pm

yeah someone else saud the same thing :P that sounds like a good idea



Kilroy
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18 May 2007, 4:17 pm

I was just talking to my mother and she said-why not go into support groups

so we are on the same wave length

God bless that woman
the times she's shown she cares even when I thougth she didn't
:P



xboxboy247
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18 May 2007, 4:27 pm

Well, Kilroy, I live in the same enviroment too.
My parents know alot about it, but they just seem to misunderstand why I do somethings.


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Kilroy
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18 May 2007, 4:28 pm

my mom gets a lot of things...
my dad gets nothing :roll:



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18 May 2007, 4:43 pm

Congrats, Kilroy!! I think you'll like it. Good luck!!