the logical trap sprung and the nightmare restarted

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the lithium i was forced to take caused me to flip out at the day program, they didnt care the drug was doing it to me and said i needed more. they cornered me and forced me to go down to the county spych hospital a place so nasty ass, the governer is having it closed down in a couple years. the drug
was bad it melotonin ambien klonopin valerian and visteral all together to knock me out to sleep and then nothing would work. it got the point i just said f*** it withdrawal cant be worse. so i stop ct and nothing, i was off for about a week and in hospital and i could sleep again. the bast*rds at st mary forced me to take haldol and it made fall down convulse ;they said i threw myself on the floor and they
forced me into restraints for seven hours would not let out even to pee. they had this big bald thug hold my gentalia into jar to pee.

i got transferred back to greystone where my mom caused me to lose my cool by tell telling the treating team all my business and and everything i ever said or did, both jepordordising my ablility to be discharched


overall i am dazed confused and extremely weakend.

my only reall goal any more is to get out and back in shape, so that the next time someone tries to grab me off the street, my home, or some public buildeng that person will force fed their own liver.

i feel like doors are getting shut in my face, people both online and off dont seem to wanna help that much anymore.

I'm sorry. I, for one, have been pretty busy,
and not really searching the forums as much.

I really sympathize with your situation, but
don't know what can be done. I've fought my
whole life to avoid getting caught in this manner.
I know that I believe that I'd find a way out,
no matter what, but it's impossible to put
myself where you are, so I can't be sure.

Hey, hyperion, I was worried something terminal had happened to you. At least I can see that you're alive and still capable of posting.

<<i feel like doors are getting shut in my face, people both online and off dont seem to wanna help that much anymore.>>

I think everyone wants to help, but I think for some(me included) there are some aspects of AS that are out of our realm of knowledge(abilities) to help, except to offer our support and a shoulder to cry on.
I mean, Bizmack is suffering through his relationship, something fierce if you read his last post.
I'm sure those here with more abilities regarding your situation will be able to offer advice.

God wont let me die. He also wont stop the devil from torturing me either. i have had four near death experiences due to the drugs.

i also possess a wolverine-like healing ability, due to an undiagnosed endocrilogical syndrome.
but that was drugged away to
honestly im ready to take the final dirt nap. the fight has been drugged out of me.

why why did have to be psychiatry god? i had a better chance of surviving ebola.

Shorter suffering time, at least.

its worse the stinking drugs have caused my memory and cognitive function to decline so severly that i have forgotten all the techniques and manuevers to get myself out the first time.