Should I give up on life?

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Let me summarize my life line by line.

I'm 18 years old male.
I live in Istanbul Turkey.
I have aspergers.
I have 0 friends at the moment.
I finished high school last year.
I am studying at home a bit.
My parents want me to study and go to university.
My parents sent me to more than 5 mental doctors.
First one said I have aspergers.
He said I can be professor if I study hard.
He tested my IQ, he said I have 141 IQ.
I was motivated because I could be a successful person if I study hard.
I want to do a computer programming job.
I'm interested in that since I was 11 or 12.
But I usually lose motivation because I dont even have a friend to talk.
I wanted to commit suicide sometimes.
Some of other doctors said I have social anxiety.
Some of them said I'm just too shy but not asperger.
I believe I have aspergers and social anxiety.
In middle school a lot of other students were teasing me.
In high school the people were more mature.
I had some short term friends.
And I met some girlfriends, bc I look handsome.
But I'm too fat! 210 pounds (95 kg).
I was too thin before, but when I was 13/14 years old...
I didn't go to school for 1 year, because I was being bullied.
In that timeframe I rarely moved my fatass.
I ate too much fast food.
I was usually in front of my computer playing games.
I don't look like obese, but I want to lose weight.
I went to gym but I felt nervous because there were other people in gym.
Now I go for a walk in mornings in seaside.
And I study, watch tv, sometimes go outside, play video games.
I also worry about my future.
If I cant go to university I will be jobless.
My social life sucks.

I don't know what I should do.

please help

sir I think this is the haven but nobody helped. moderators should rename this forum to desert island instead of the haven. bc nobody replied in this topic. i wrote everything about my autism but i need assistance since i'm autistic and i want to know what changes i should make in the rest of my life! Thanks!

A lot of us here are in worse situations then you. Those aspies who aren't don't come to wp anymore or don't have a lot of time to spend here.
You'll have to patient, you might not get replies until night (you posted at 9am usa time) or til tomorrow.

I can't help unfortunately. I've never even had a gf or real job and I'm 28 and back to weighing 275 pounds

You're still young.

The only reason I'm still alive is that I made a promise to myself (~age 13) that no matter how bad things got, I would never commit suicide. My rationale being that, as long as I was alive, things could always get better.

I've been through hell more than once, never had a 'proper' career, and there are countless other things going against me...

I'm still here. I have two wonderful children (they live with their mother but I have full and regular access). I'm now training to be a teacher - not much money but worthwhile.

You have no ties. You can simply say 'enough is enough' and walk away. Explore the world and find support from the autistic community around the world (via the internet).

Best wishes.

I'm 18 years old male.
I live in Istanbul Turkey.
I have aspergers.
I have 0 friends at the moment.
I finished high school last year.
I am studying at home a bit.
My parents want me to study and go to university.
My parents sent me to more than 5 mental doctors.
First one said I have aspergers.
He said I can be professor if I study hard.
He tested my IQ, he said I have 141 IQ.
I was motivated because I could be a successful person if I study hard.
I want to do a computer programming job.
I'm interested in that since I was 11 or 12.
But I usually lose motivation because I dont even have a friend to talk.
I wanted to commit suicide sometimes.
Some of other doctors said I have social anxiety.
Some of them said I'm just too shy but not asperger.
I believe I have aspergers and social anxiety.
In middle school a lot of other students were teasing me.
In high school the people were more mature.
I had some short term friends.
And I met some girlfriends, bc I look handsome.
But I'm too fat! 210 pounds (95 kg).
I was too thin before, but when I was 13/14 years old...
I didn't go to school for 1 year, because I was being bullied.
In that timeframe I rarely moved my fatass.
I ate too much fast food.
I was usually in front of my computer playing games.
I don't look like obese, but I want to lose weight.
I went to gym but I felt nervous because there were other people in gym.
Now I go for a walk in mornings in seaside.
And I study, watch tv, sometimes go outside, play video games.
I also worry about my future.
If I cant go to university I will be jobless.
My social life sucks.

I don't know what I should do.

__________________________________________________________________________

go to a support group.

get a hobby. something you like, something you are good at. just something.

the solar system contains plenty of jobs. computer programming is just one of them. if you do not like computer programming, or if you are not good at computer programming, or for any other reason choose to not do computer programming, fine. find something else.

get a psychologist.

bill gates, steve jobs, mark zuckerberg were financially successful, and they did not get Bachelor degrees.

in the united states, plenty of college graduates. bachelors and masters and et cetera. work at starbucks as baristas.

society treats going to college as the only functional option. and there are some jobs that you cannot get, without having a degree. for example, nuclear physicist.

however, not going to college. or not getting a degree. is not such a bad thing either.

and plenty of people graduate college or dropout college and get so much debt they regret going to college.

and there are other reasons to regret going to college, too.

for me, i regret going to college. b/c i went to college in a homophobic city. and i presented as trans. started college 2001. started presenting as trans in 2004. at that time, i women told me i was in the wrong bathroom when i used the women's bathroom. just b/c i got a buzz cut and crossdressed. and then i used the mens bathroom. but i was paranoid, b/c i did not know if that was legal. so i tried to look it up online. got nothing that said it was legal or illegal. tried to ask the school LGBT center if it was legal. she told me she did not know if it was "technically" legal or illegal. "technically"? doesn't it matter? every day you use the bathroom so many times. the chances of something dramatic happening sooner or later, add up.

the other reason why i regret going to college, was that in fourth year undergrad, i flunked out Structural Engineering. had to major in something else. ended up majoring in Cognitive Science. took six years. got a 2.19 gpa. cognitive science is just a social science. any idiot can major in it.

my precious lil "parents" made me take the SAT in seventh grade and study for it starting in third grade. they gave me a lot of academic pressure. like telling me someone else's chinese daughter did some academically smart thing. and why wasn't i like that.

those lil bozos gave me a huge inferiority complex. that continue to this day.

the inferiority complex is so large, that i have a hard time interacting with anyone.

americans tend to have high self esteem. americans act like they are the greatest thing since sliced bread.

and i felt academically stupid. but plenty of numskulls with much lower SAT and IQ scores than me (yes, i got an IQ test), act like they are so academically smart, wise, awesome, absolutely important.

quite frankly, precious lil "most people" do not like me. and i do not like precious lil "most people".

You seem as if you have a lot going for you!
You're eighteen, you're barely starting on a truly adult life. Don't discount yourself so quick!
You have an academically oriented mind which can be helpful in career success, and you have a definite interest and direction toward computer programming, a field that is only going to expand in the near future.
Perhaps if you entered into this field, you may find others with your interest, and that could be the door to building friendships? Start out talking computers and go from there?
Living with autism and social anxiety can be hard, but others have done so, worked with their limitations and made a good life for themselves. No inherent reason why you can't.
You're already on the way to solving your weight issues in a creative way - you know gym isn't for you, but walking is great exercise (some professionals actually recommend this over activities like jogging) and it can also be great to get out and walk especially near the sea to clear your mind. If this is an interest, perhaps you can join a hiking group, and meet a few more social contacts that way? If you're near the sea, add swimming in?
I think everyone worries about their future sometimes. Education and employment, along with money, are common areas of worry. But you never know, you might find your niche in computers and go on to a successful career.