My Anxiety Getting Worse

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My anxiety is getting worse, I need to see a doctor, I hope medicine will work. With my anxiety & more back pain when I clean or do something active, I can't control it. I really really messed up my life. My apartment is very messy, I do want to clean, almost everytime I clean, something bad happens. I hate who I become today, this is not me, I feel like I'm in somebody else body.

Hmm, well back pain when cleaning could just be unaccustomed use. I came across this myself this week. It doesn't necessarily mean there's anything wrong, could just be the muscles aren't used to that level, or that type, of use. Core strength activities are recommended to build up that sort of muscle, and have even been found to be helpful in back pain.
If you can combine the two, gentle exercise which builds core could also help with anxiety. Some studies have shown that exercise - the distraction as well as the neurochemical reaction - can help lower anxiety naturally. I also read an interesting theory recently about the body's stress response using cold stress to treat depression and anxiety. You raise the automatic stress level using the cold to induce cold shock, and it teaches the brain that it can indeed cope with threatening stimulus. Swimming would seem to satisfy all those criteria.
That was a bit of a tangent.
Don't be too down on yourself. If your place is a bit messy and you haven't achieved everything you ever wanted to in life, I think you've just joined the general adult population.