Can't breathe

Post Reply New Topic

Here I am posting this late at night. I hate being worried all the time. But I can't help but figure that WW3 is coming on May 13 as a mystic prophet named Horacie Villege (or whoever) predicts. He's not the only one who predicts WW3 in 2017.

I get all choked up seeing others being able to establish themselves and have relationships and I had none of it. All I can say was that it was nice knowing you.

I'm in an endless pit of pain. Everyone around me seems to seek to minimalise my pain. They don't get my true situation. All I hear is "enjoy every day like it was your last" How can I do that if I have no friends.

I think God hates me and made my life a mess. I'm so upset in pain I feel like I almost couldn't breathe. Even religious communities minimalise my suffering.

Have you tried making friends online? Or do you mean you need friends which you can see in person?

People usually seek to show you that your pain is not as bad as you believe, but sometimes it's nice just to have someone truely understand or accept that you are in trouble.

Late at night - first problem. I don't know about you, but I tend to get worked up at night time. If you observe this tendency in yourself, then structuring your nights so you don't have the space to freak out may help close the loop.
I find the rest of this highly unlikely. No one can predict the exact onset of a war. There are too many variables involved. And predicting the actual day? Even if he had his finger on the proverbial button to loose nuclear weapons on us all, even that could not guarantee the war would start on that exact day as a result.
This reads like you are just already anxious, so are looking around for things that justify this - like a war starting. Your anxiety would be completely understandable to you and everyone else then.
Plus when people are anxious they seem to be attracted to things that self-perpetuate that state. Accepting that you yourself are anxious, for whatever real reason, and that is why you are focusing on things like this (frankly BS in my opinion) may help you to stop stressing about things that are not real, and instead figure out what your trouble is.


You don't need friends to enjoy your day in my opinion. I don't have any, and have plenty of enjoyable days. All that's required is doing something you enjoy. It's understandable when socializing is so pushed on us in the modern world to believe that you can't be content, or nothing can be enjoyable, without friends, but invalid in my opinion. Why not focus on yourself? What you like and would enjoy doing? Not worry so much about whether or not others are involved, or if you will be thought of badly if you don't have friends?
I don't know anything about forming relationships, save that there are channels to do so. If it's romantic relationships you're after, tried online apps? Many people swear by them now, and date exclusively off them, not content to even make a connection unless they're read someone's profile. If it's friendships, an interest group or club could help? Even a study subject, or sport if you're interested that way? Even get involved with a charity?
Also, I have been to autism therapies groups for adults meant to teach you the social skills to be able to form and maintain relationships with others. I missed the point of this due alexithymia, but if there is such a support group in your area for autistic adults or others with social problems, perhaps it may help you.
I agree that people "minimalising" your pain may be just trying to make you feel better. Cheer you up by telling you it's not that bad, it'll be ok. That strategy works on some, and is usually kindly meant. They are in a way trying to help you. Acknowledging to them that you understand this, but you really need someone to take you seriously and not be so dismissive of your issues, may encourage them to change track when they can understand cajoling is not what you need just now.

I don't know anything about God as I don't believe in the Judeo-Christian or Islamic monotheistic creation mythos (which I'm assuming you're referencing?) so don't put much stock in such a creature, should it exist, going out of its way just to screw you. Many religions put suffering in a calmer context - there is suffering, because that's inherent in life. It's not abnormal, not sinful, not a punishment. Just is. You're experiencing it now, as part of your existence here, in this life. It's interesting, but it will pass away like all things do. Don't try so hard to hold onto it or get involved with it, make up stories or judgements around it. It's your experience, your emotional tone. If it can guide you in how you need to alter your situation more to your liking then so much the better. Listen and take action. In that regard, some religions do not make so light of individual suffering. Perhaps you're just with the wrong group for you?
I genuinely hope you can get a handle on your situation better to your liking. There have been a few of your posts seemingly very freaked out recently. Anything we anonymous internetters can do to help you feel better?

I just don'the want to die a perpetual virgin. Online dating is very tough for me. It seems that I have more pre-requirements and I can't be myself. These things mean profile pictures and how to structure your profile and all that.

And I'll like to learn to date offline as well. I actually NEED friends.

Did you ever read about that Horacio Villeges guy?

Sorry about all the freaked out posts recently, I just have a big headache from it all and I really do feel the end is near in days.

I'm even a member of one of those ASD groups you mentioned, but I found it hard to actively involve myself because I can't figure out who to invite to do stuff.

I also wish I could be one of those "cool" boyfriends who can drive a girl places and not give a sh** about anything anyone says.

I also have a sense of urgency here. I wish replies on my thread were more frequent.

Can you think of something that makes you smile?

No, the only thing that will make me happy at this point is if i can rapidly advance myself within days, which is unfortunately impossible

When you say advance yourself, is there something you could do now to step in that direction? It doesn't have to be big. For example, keep breathing.

Also I totally get the anxiety over WW3. I had a dream years ago about it, and it all started with an oil pipeline from Alaska. So... anyway. *facepalm*

keep breathing

I don't know what I can do to advance today. My goals are too big.

Some days you just have to take care of yourself. Priority 1, safe space and stability; not easy to do for yourself but it is possible, even when your executive function is blown.

I think I just stopped being able to focus on my goals now, my anxiety is so crippling and my spirit is still broken.

If we're going to die in WWIII on May 13th, then maybe today is the day for you to finally take a walk outside! You've got absolutely nothing to lose.

Do you actually believe it too?

Anything is possible. I am constantly prepared for the end of the world, and pleasantly surprised that it continues not to arrive. It makes me very determined to enjoy the time I have incarnated on this planet, since it could turn much worse at any time.

Please guys, give me all the support. I don't think people understand much. I feel stuck between a rock and a hard place. I'm afraid that if the world does end, I'm not going to be able to party, socialize, have fun, anything. And then, I read into religious stuff all the time saying the Bible condemns all those things and they don't exist "up there". It feels so bad that I almost want to die right now. I don't want to actually commit suicide, but I still have the level of emotional pain, I now know how the suicidal people feel like.

I always wanted a partner, girlfriends, social life, etc. I wish the afterlife was like this Earth we know. Then, I wouldn't be so worried about death and destruction of humanity. All the religious have ever done for me is jump on and say "the end is near, join us".

K_Kelley ...

You are not going to die in WWIII on May 13th.
Actually, I'm highly looking forward to May 13th
(but do not feel like sharing the reasons why on a public forum where it will not be appreciated).

Anyways.
Instead of worrying about bad things,
it's far better to take a small step or two every day towards good things.

Worrying steals your time.
And if you want to meet girls, being all upset and trying too hard
is a real turn-off that will only scare girls away.
Self-confidently living life and pursuing your interests is far more attractive.

This weekend, my goals are to
clean up my apartment, eat a lunch or a dinner at a new Asian restaurant that offers Indonesian cuisine (to try something new), work on a painting, and go bird watching on a nature trail with a group (if it's not raining).

If I only accomplish half of my goals, or even one, I'll be happy.
But if I just sit around worrying and being miserable, I would miss out on
enjoying life's possibilities.

Breathe.

And I hope you feel better soon.
I wish you a nice weekend.

It is OK to feel stuck. It is OK to feel lonely. It is OK to feel scared. We are living creatures, feeling is what we do. Keep breathing. Focus on the good things, they don't have to be big: cup of coffee, chips, sunshine, rain, games, music... Do that for as long as you can, as often as you can. Keep breathing. Keep living and do your best. It is enough.
I hope you feel better soon.