Bored. Lonely.

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My closest friends are far out of town this weekend. And I could not make it to any of my 12-step meetings in the last week thanks to not having any available rides.

So..... I find myself thirsty for attention. A nodding head of approval. A "hey, what's up?". I am feeling more isolated than usual. I have diagnosed Asperger syndrome, but I still manage to be extroverted despite that.

Honestly, I am finding myself slipping into old bad habits. I need to put a stop to that. Preferably before I have to reset my sobriety date.

I am not getting much positive validation at my job. And my good friends have been gone for a week. So, I feel like I am in limbo.

Perhaps I should check out some books from the library when it opens in the morning. Take the bus to my favorite restaurant for lunch by myself. See a movie at the cinema.

Sitting in my apartment is not doing me any favors right now.

It's tough when the right people aren't around. A movie sounds a good way to get your mind to another place.

You have good friends? Count your blessings.
As for work, these days, sadly, people are too selfish to acknowledge anyone else's good work.

So yeah, basically it's good to get out of the apartment.
Unless you're like me, and you create art in your apartment ...
in which case, it's still good to get out of the apartment
from time to time.

Wishing you a great weekend!

you have friends, a job, and an apartment. while i have none of the above.

so, you must be doing something right.

yeah you can go to the library, a movie, or a restaurant. usually i go to the library several times a week. movies, almost never go. $$. and do not particularly like it either. often go to supermarkets but rarely restaurants. the social aspect is a bit much too. but whatever.

it's just one weekend. that's not particularly long.

yeah and i am 34 years old. the most recent job i had was over 1 year ago. and got fired.

the precious lil "people" that told me they were "friends", acted like they had a moral right to veto anything i did or said that they did not like. then they acted like i had a moral duty to passive aggressively tolerate anything they did or said that i did not like. b/c they were more similar to "most people" than me. b/c they are neurotypical and cisgender while i am neither.



and plenty of precious lil "friends" had the nerve to dump me.



at first, i was a bit annoyed, frustrated, disappointed, angry.





but



upon closer inspection, they were not worth the energy it took to interact with them.

bottom line.

cost benefit analysis

Thanks for the responses. I ended up going to a Thai joint and getting myself some noodles, then I went to a park and read a book while lying in the grass. That helped. I do not do well in isolation, and I also usually do not do well when my weekly routines get tossed out the window, but it turned out alright this time since I decided to leave my apartment anyway.

I am finding that having a diagnosis of Asperger syndrome is a horrible excuse to not take care of myself. A life lesson learned the hard way. Heh.

I do have many blessings that I need to remember whenever disappointments come around. Thanks for pointing that out to me.