Having to cancel a trip.

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Six months ago, I purchased a plane ticket to visit the man I love sometime next month..

I also instructed my payee to set aside some money every month so I would be able to do things with him once I got there. As of last week, I had several hundred saved up.

Yesterday I find out that not only were my hours at my job being cut in half effective immediately, but one of my payee's helpers raided my vacation fund to pay off a medical bill all at once.

I have no money left.

I am cancelling my vacation out of necessity at this point.

f**k it. I may as well quit my job while I am at it.

The one thing I was looking forward to this year is no longer going to happen. I can either keep going through useless motions, or I can accept that all of my efforts are futile and just give up.

I don't get it: if you have a job, why do you have a payee?

And what is a "payee helper?" How does this person have access to your money?

Please don't think I'm being judgmental here. I'm just curious--probably because I'm naïve about these things.

I'm really sorry the job cut your hours in half. That must have been a blow.

I only work part time. My primary source of income is SSDI. And I have a payee per doctor's orders due to a past history of substance abuse. Everything that happened here really is my own fault. I want to curl up and die.

Does that mean they reduced your hours from 20 to 10?

I believe this means you'll get more benefits, actually.

Maybe you weren't meant to go on that trip.
Am saying this from my own experience ...
in the past, I've planned trips to Arizona and Florida,
only to have the plans blow up right when I was going to
take action to book the trip or get on the road.
For the Florida trip, I even had my suitcase packed and ready to go.
Looking back, I think if I had taken those particular trips,
they could have easily ended in disaster.

As for you, I hope you will continue doing your best.
And that things will improve for you.
It's terrible someone stole your money (has happened to me too)
and your hours are being cut (the stories I could tell).
There's way too much injustice in the world
and we all get affected by it ...
it seems like more of a struggle too when autism is in the mix ...
and that said ...
I hope both you and I will continue doing our best.
And that things will improve for us.

I will pray that things get better for you.

Nope, my benefits will remain the same. SSDI has different rules than SSI.

I always was my only source of suffering. The hours getting cut was my fault for being much further behind on a project than I thought I was a few months ago. And if I was not a complete ret*d with money, I would not have been placed into a payee service to begin with. I get what I bring upon myself. I never had the right to be a victim at any point in my life after my 18th birthday.

What sort of projects do you do on your job?

It seems like it's a job that requires brainpower....not like mine!

I work as a secretary for a grassroots advocacy organization. Although don't be surprised if I am flipping burgers at McDonald's this time next month.

I am not getting enjoyment out of anything these days. The only times I really feel comfortable in my own skin are either when I am stoned or when I am asleep.

Please forgive my sperging out about it here. I know exactly how I want to live, but I am my own worst enemy. Acting in my own best interests does not come naturally to me. And that is incredibly pathetic.

I apologize. I was playing the victim one second and beating myself up the next. I need to cut that out. I am disappointed about what happened. Throwing a verbal tantrum does not help me one bit.