I never had a dream come true

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I hate life because normal people get everything they want but I get nothing

I want love. And therefore I will never get it. That is the rule. If you want it go to hell, it ain't no where to be found. The only people who find love are the ones who need it the least. The irony of it all.

What about practising love? You can practise caring and relating... if your sensory issues and life situation allows it, maybe consider buying a puppy / kitten / rabbit / rat / or something? To feel their response, to know them, to care for them.
Because love doesn't come out of the blue. It's giving and receiving and it needs some learning.

Also, I would prefer that my crazy zombie apocalypse dreams never came true...

what do you mean by "normal people", neurotypical?

because not all "normal people" get everything they want. and if they did, then they would want more.

plenty of "normal people" have profound problems financially, academically, vocationally, medically, and socially. mental illness, disease, disability, homeless, living under poverty line, flunking out of school, learning disorders, getting fired, long term unemployment, working minimum wage their entire lives, not having friends.

but regardless of your definition of "normal people", not all "normal people" get everything they want.

maybe it looks like they do, because they appear (sometimes) so happy. but they do not tell you everything they want.

unless you are telepathic, you do not know "everything" someone wants. someone might want something that has social stigma. like when i was young (born 1983), i wanted to be a cisgender boy.

certainly, at least two times in your life, you have gotten something that you wanted.

me, i am autistic. and i got a Bachelors degree. granted, just a useless degree. but plenty of "normal people" do not have the $$, health, time, or for some great reason, can't go to college. and some of those "normal people" want to go to college.

likewise, thus far, nobody has exterminated . plenty of "normal people" get murdered.

and et cetera.

i mean, yeah, there are some things i want and will never have, unless something really peculiar occurs. like friends. like a job where i get treated with dignity, that matches my autism symptoms.

but whatever.

Thanks for the encouragement. I'll get there someday.

/\ Yeah, you WILL!! Probably all of us, have been where you are----and, it's a difficult row, to hoe----BUT, the first step to "recovery" (aka, "growth"), is acknowledgement that something needs to be fixed, and you seem to have that; so.....

Thanks and by the way I like the purple text you use!

/\ Thankyou!!

I want to be in a good and fun relationship but right now it feels impossible.

I want and need a job.

I dont really have a plan or dream, the dream job is out of my reach because of my social anxiety and poor personal hygiene, there doesnt seem to be any odd job near me hiring, there are loads of places hiring, just I won't fit in because above reasons and won't last a day and a job like cleaning would be a perfect fit for me.

I believe the best parts of my life have come and gone, things like holidays abroad when I was a kid or going to a theme park with family and friends. I am on a downward spiral, the longer i'm out of work, the less my chances are of getting work and won't be long til my immediate family stops supporting me and kicks me out onto the street.

maybe you have had dreams come true, but you forgot or did not pay attention.

gratitude.



likewise, i used to compare myself a lot to precious lil "people" that were NT, cisgender, heterosexual, skinny, smart, handsome, white, extroverted. normal.

but, not once, the past 34 years, have i not had enough $$ to eat. not once, thus far, have i been homeless. nobody exterminated me. i live in the united states. plenty of children under 18 drop dead, and it was not their fault. i got to go to college. et cetera