Absolutely terrified of assisted living. & group homes.

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Hi I've been worried of the thought of being taken away against my well to an assisted living or a group home for quite sometime now. I currently live with dad as my mom passed away last year. I have a great relationship with my dad and all my Family & Cousins & they all love me & I love them all. I'm just afraid of the constant thought of if my dad passes away I would be taken to a group home or assisted living as I have no job because of Autism. The thought of living bye my self or in a group home with strangers scares & no freedoms scare the heck out of me as I don't know if I would be able to live with my family if that happens even though they love me & I love them back. I only feel safe around family and only family and the thought of being taken away to one of those places scares the day heck out of me.

This is my greatest fear too, I live alone now but as I am physically disabled I require help from my parents my fear is that when I am older I will be forced into one of these homes I will kill myself before I am forced to live like that.

I have had that fear myself. It is really scary. Youve shown real strength in opening up about that and the fact you are thinking about it shows to me you are going to be alright. Welcome to the forum, dude!

Earlier on, when I was younger and less functioning than I was now, fear like that used to especially torment me. Even now, while I've made tremendous progress and am growing in independence; I still at times worry, and sometimes greatly, as to what would I do if my family suddenly suffered decease or if I found myself suddenly far from them.

If I allow it, these worries can (and at times have) paralyzed me and thus my ability to function in the present is greatly impeded.

But I have to remember, I don't know the future and I can't control the future (not completely that is) I can only respond to the present moment and try to make the best decisions for the moment with the future also in mind, I can really only, functionally, focus on today mostly; it is sufficient for it's own trouble, so to speak...

It's in the context of today that I mostly focus my energies on, (or try to) because why should I let a hypothetical future scenario steal my joy and control me now? What good will that do? It will only make me more likely to make bad decisions now and make an avoidable unpleasant scenario more likely. But if I take each day or each moment rather, as it comes, enjoying it for what it is, dealing with it as it is, not merely for how valuable it is in the contribution or in reference of some future day; I think I am able to not only enjoy life better but be freed to take more risks and make better decisions in the here and now with the future also in mind...

True, we should care about the future, and try to make decisions with the future in mind, but if you live entirely in the future or past, you can't enjoy today.

Any who... I don't blame you for being afraid, try to take each day as it comes; even the adversites we fear might not (not saying it won't be, but that it might not be) as bad as we think them to be and we may find in that day that we are able to do more than we thought.

I live independantly and sometimes I actually want to live in a group home. Im lonely and I have to eat my own cooking. Which is bland and not all that great. Sometimes I invision living in a group home to get extra help with things. I asked people here what group homes are like. Everyone said they suck and should be avoided. Then on a different forum someone who lived in a group home said it wasnt that bad. I think it all depends on what group home your in. Some are bad some are wonderful.

This is a hard topic.
If it makes you feel any better,
many NTs end up in assisted living and nursing homes.

The world would be so much better
if people loved and respected each other.
And yes,
if we had strong families
instead of selfish people in families.