Deep thoughts after this week

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Say hypothetically you were severely abused at home and at school as a child. You cried out repeatedly for help, but no one took you seriously. But you promised when you became a parent that you would turn around the whole experience and use it to do better for your kids.

Then, that you became a parent and did an amazing job with your child. That you never even yelled at him, hit him, or even understood how anyone could hit or even be deliberately rude to their child. But you got so much resistance from the world around you, who wanted you to relate to your child in the same dysfunctional and toxic way that is considered normal to relate to your children. You had PTSD still from your own childhood, made worse by being in a toxic marriage to someone who had different ideas about what they want to become of your child. Your ex knew how to push your buttons, and did on purpose, because they had every intention of using it against you as soon as the time was right.

And when they struck, they used your pain to take your child away from you with the full backing of the law, causing you more pain than you ever knew that just won't stop getting worse and worse, even more pain than you lived with every day as a child who was abused at home and at school. Because no one took you seriously as a child, you were left with your abusive parents. While now, you have been fighting a losing battle to get your child back, when you never even understood how anyone could hit their child let alone done it yourself. And to make matters worse, you have photographic evidence that shows your ex and your child's grandparents have been hitting him, yet when you ask for help you're blocked from seeing your child for 4 months, and the 2nd time you ask for help, you're arrested. My only crime, questioning the law's right to abuse my son.

This is the hell my son and I have been living for the last 18 months.

What's blocking me from finding joy in everyday moments is I would have to be heartless if it was possible for me to be happy knowing my son is being mistreated, and even the law is tying my hands behind my back keeping me from protecting him.

Does anyone reading this know of any stories that started out like ours and actually had a happy ending?

I can't say I know any stories personally, but doubtless they do exist.
Have you tried consulting an advocacy service, who can help you pragmatically go through the legal channels you need for custody? Is there free family legal service in your area?
There does seem to be some elements missing from this story though - like what circumstances existed to justify them legally taking away your son, or arresting you when you tried to access him.
Perhaps working on rectifying those conditions first can better help you?

Well, like I said in the text, panic attacks led to both. And these people refuse to look at the abuse I suffered that led to these panic attacks.

^ That's hardly justified - they cannot remove children from their parents because of panic attacks, nor can they arrest you for a panic attack.
If you don't want to go into the details that's understandable, however it might limit the usefulness of any advice people may have.
I have known of successful stories of parolees - people whose children were removed when they went to jail, and who wanted to have some kind of relationship with them when they were released. Prison liaison people were able to negotiate access provided that certain criteria were met (they had a suitable place for children, had been clean a certain time if drug related, etc) and the first visits were supervised. Maybe such a negotiation service, such as legal mediation, could be helpful for you to win some rights back?

I've tried mediation, lawyers, etc for the last year, and still people are allowed to abuse me as much as they want to, and if I dare to say anything about it they abuse my son and I worse, if I don't say anything about it we get abused anyway. I was arrested for a panic attack, and almost arrested again last Friday for one. If they don't see the real crime is leaving my son in an abusive home, either I'm worse than my parents, or they suck, or I don't know what.

I'm sorry you have to go through this.

The bottom line is, what your abusers are doing to you is evil, and the legal system is supporting the abusers instead of you. I'm sorry you are being hurt this way, and you continue to be in my prayers.

Thank you all. Is it even possible to turn this around?

Well there should be if the child is being abused!

Agreed. Problem is the whole legal system has bought my ex's and his family's lies that I'm the crazy one.

I dont know anything about how to deal with this sort of thing. It would be nice if you got people on your side. Maybe get a support group together. Protesters!

Yup, I definitely need to get a group of protesters together!! They get away with this because of secrecy.