Feelings tonight
Diabolikal
Deinonychus

Joined: 15 Aug 2011
Gender: Male
Posts: 304
Location: Los Angeles CA, Somewhere in Universe
I feel, alone. Wandering without purpose in a dark world. Everywhere I go I feel like an outsider, no one knows me on Facebook, Disqus is just memes and trolls, even here, after a long time away I still feel an alien here, with things like the politics threads parroting Ditko and just are mostly the same people in their own worlds yelling at each other in each one's own delusions(many who I shall not name that are more political cultists), or just the "game" threads that I have no idea how to do. Hate school, it's university yet is either high-school level classes or just uninformative and such. Friends either keep moving away or dying early. Sexually frustrated, I'm probably a walking deal breaker, I mean yes I collect Marvel Omnibuses and write my own sequel to Arkham City since Arkham Knight sucked, and so on. Feel like there's no way out of this hole I'm in, that I am just an ineffectual outsider among outsiders, a burnt out shell of my former self, in a dark world without redemption.
That sounds peaceful to me

Not to be harsh but this reads like the first adjustment that would help you is in the attitude department. If you're walking through that dark world with this perspective, then this is all you will see. It's confirmation bias.
I don't even read the religion, philosophy and politics subforum, because it's all American politics. If you don't like that kind of subject, just don't read it. Stick to the general discussions and those like it. Same with the games. If that's not your thing, just don't bother with it. No one's going to like everything.
As to not getting what you need from the other areas - online interactions, education dissatisfaction, social issues, sexual frustrations - is there a reason you can't change any of that? If it's not working for you, move on to something with more potential? Do you have any ideas about how you might go about change? Any plans in formation?
This also reads as though what you're after is "belonging." Do you have interests you could extend to groups, and perhaps get a sense of belonging there? Or take up something new, and come to belong to a new group?
Brainstorming some ideas might be helpful, as well as (though I always see it as a copout to suggest it) possibly therapy to shift your negative perspectives. I generally find them useless, but they do help some people by offering some difference in perspective and support in bringing ideas into being.
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Alexithymia - 147 points.
Low-Verbal.
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