High Anxiety

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I'm sorry if I've been starting too many threads in the Haven but I've just been so anxious for the last few weeks. I'm not entirely sure why. I've been feeling nervous about people I used to feel neutral about. I've even been feeling nervous around people I know are perfectly nice and lovely. There's this very kind woman at work who said she's worried about me and then I felt so guilty for making her feel worried.

Maybe I'm just lonely. I want to be around other people but I don't want to be around other people. What I really want is to have an effective social interaction but that hasn't been happening even though I've been surrounded by people for the last two weeks. Being around other people every day for two weeks was a bit overwhelming. I wanted to have a rest.

I decided not to do overtime this weekend. No more seven day weeks. Yay. I could rest. I could sleep in. I went to bed a little earlier than usual, slept soundly for two hours and then woke up and couldn't get back to sleep for the rest of the night. I felt so tired but I couldn't make myself go to sleep.

I was starving too but my weight has started rising again so I skipped dinner. I felt a little bit sick from this. If I don't eat I get fat, if I eat I get sick. Damned if I do, damned if I don't. I used to be able to fast for days at a time. Not anymore. Anyway you can't lose weight without a bit of hunger. I don't want to eat just because I'm hungry, that's how I got fat in the first place.

All the time I'm worried that people will be judging me. Maybe I'll say something foolish and they'll judge me so I just stay silent. Maybe they're judging me for never saying anything.

I've felt so tired lately. Maybe working 7 days per week and going to social functions isn't good for me. I felt very tired after work on Sunday, then I spoke to a girl who said that one time she worked 72 hours straight and after that I no longer had a right to feel tired.

How can I feel tired from 56 hours per week when other people work 72 or 80 or 100 hours per week? 56 hours is nothing compared to that.

For the last few weeks I've felt very tense. physically tense. Even when I'm at home I can't relax because I start thinking I should be doing something productive. I should be productive so I can be like an adult, not a kid who has fun. Adults aren't supposed to have fun. Fun is for children.

I try to talk to people about my anxiety but then I feel foolish and I can't explain it properly. I think maybe my reasons for having anxiety aren't good enough or that it might be my own fault I have anxiety. A lot of it comes from caring about what other people think about me and comparing myself to other people. I thought about people who seldom compare themselves to other people but then I realised I was comparing myself with other people on the basis of how much we compare ourselves to other people.

Anyway how can I calm down?

Why arent adults allowed to have fun sometimes? It would be a pretty boring life if you are no longer allowed to have fun. Im not sure why you are anxiouse all of a sudden. Have you tried talking to a therapist?

It is normal be feel anxious around the Holidays. I'm sure it started because you went to parties and had to listen to people brag about how well they are doing and then you started comparing yourself to them. Maybe in the future you could find a way to spend more time talking to less fortunate people. Surely there must be some other people at the parties who aren't doing fabulously well. I suppose as an Aspie it would be even more uncomfortable to be next to the people who just want to get drunk and have a good time.

Best question.

In your post you mentioned dieting/losing weight, which reminded me that you had posted about using a name brand amphetamine diet pill in the past. How recently have you taken anything like that? Whether OTC diet pills or prescription Dexedrine/Adderall etc for ADHD?

I ask because a side effect of amphetamines is that the leach magnesium & sulphur out of our bodies, and if we don't put it back, we don't have the minerals our bodies need to be able to filter out certain types of food acids. When these acid levels build, so does anxiety & a bunch of other symptoms.

Solution: epsom salts (magnesium sulphate crystals) on your skin, in a foot soak, in a bath etc. We absorb the salts through our skin & give our body the minerals it needs to detox food acids out through regular urination. (another telltale sign of high food acid levels is having to pee frequently as our bodies try to pass the acid out of them but can't, so try and try again with another urge to pee)

Costs mere pennies to try it out & see if putting epsom salts on your skin daily (or foot soaks etc) are going to help out your anxiety levels. For myself, when I first did this, the WORST anxiety of my life (and other symptoms) was all but completely lifted within 5 days. Give it a shot for a week and if it doesn't help at least you've ruled something out and it only cost you $10 for a 4kg container of epsom salts.

I haven't used those diet pills for a long time, regardless it's still possible for me to have some mineral deficiency. I don't have a bathtub but I'll put the epsom salts on my shopping list.

i am sorry for my lack of adequate reciprocation considering what i am going to say does not meld well with the content of your post.
i am more responding to the title.

i feel that true and pure anxiety is a feeling of "dread".

it can occur for many reasons but that is the fundamental experience.

my particular anxiety is health anxiety. this afternoon i was consumed with measuring my pulse to make sure i was not going into a runaway tachycardia.
i have a blood pressure monitor that i use every hour if the readings are satisfactory, and every minute if something freaks me out.
my blood pressure was ok (125/74), and my pulse was ok (76) at 2 pm.
i then drove 300km to wollongong to get some pot and then back home.
i didn't even take my machine with me.

when i got home i had a beer and a pipe and i felt quite well and i sat down to fly on flight simulator and i put the cuff on first and measured my blood pressure and it was fine. but my pulse was racing without explanation.
i had not exerted myself in anyway. bp was 120/77 but pulse was 128!! !! !! !. i know i can sustain that for a while but what if it does not slow down for hours? god i will have a heart attack or cause clots and die tonight!! !
should i ring an ambulance?
it's like a suppressed panic and i have to be careful to steward myself through the crisis.
i remembered i had a strong pipe of pot, and also some ventolin (3 puffs), so i thought i would wait before ringing the ambulance.
i thought "maybe i was feeling so relaxed before i found this all out, that i did not breathe deeply enough", so, as an experiment, i then breathed deeper than i felt i had to, and i pursed my lips as i exhaled, and i did that for about 2 minutes before i took my pressure again, and the pulse rate dropped to 99. so that was a mild relief because i realized it was not a runaway chain reaction of paroxysmic electric impulses that results in a pulse of 220 bpm within an hour.

that's like an "emergency stations" experience. not a panic attack which is a paralyzing hindrance to escape.

anxiety seems to stem from a fixation on catastophisation , and freud reckoned that they are a manifestation of subconscious conflicts.

anyway i am digging myself deeper into a long post which i have not time to devote the energy to.