Abusive relationship

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I was with someone that used to grab hold of me and shove me into the wall. He was also sometimes emotionaly abusive. Despite the fact that he was a prick I miss hanging out with him. Im now bored and alone. Sometimes I think about talking to him again. He brought out the worst in me then. Im worried if I hang out with him again he will get me in trouble by bringing out the worst in me again. My mama said she would stop helping me if I go back to the way I was before. So I cant talk to him anymore. So what now? Theres a huge hole in my heart. I dont work so its hard to meet people. Not really interested in taking classes. I need a friend and the problem is I dont have any. I wonder if a match making site would be of any use. Im terrified to meet strangers cause Ive been taken advantage of so many times. This is hard. Must resist urge to talk to abuser!

I’ve found support groups helpful. Try as many as you can until you find one that fits. In the meantime, the book Codependent No More by Melody Beattie may interest you. Be patient with yourself. It’s difficult breaking old patterns & stepping into the unknown.

At the end of the day, it's your life, and it's your decision. If you want to talk to him, you can talk to him, just don't expect anything new or exciting to come out of it.

I've never been physically abused, but I've been addicted to girlfriends before, and every time I went back, nothing interesting happened.

Thanks that puts things in perspective.

It would be an extremely bad idea to go back to that abusive guy.

Please don't do it.

I wont. He almost broke my glasses. Yeah I wont go back to him but now Im extreamly lonely.

At least you have the Internet LOL

When I was in my 20s, and very lonely, there was no Internet for regular folks. I just had to find companionship "the hard way."

I guess the saving grace was that I always lived in New York City.

It takes time to move on from a relationship, abusive or otherwise. My marriage was a combination of companionship and abuse, and for the first 2 years after we separated, I was heartbroken and missed the companionship. These days, I look back and mostly remember the abuse, and am grateful that it's in the distant past.

It does get better, but I hear you - the transition can be hard, with complicated feelings.

I was also abused by someone close to me. The feeling of wanting to go back is normal. They have messed with your head so much part of you thinks they will be your only friend. Like perhaps a lot of what they said is true and they are doing you a favor by being in your life. That's how it was for me at least. I made the mistake of saying I have autism and I was happy someone would be my friend. After that it was used against me all the time. It's how some people are and unfortunately people like us are easy to fool

I know I make some mistakes but I also know I deserve better and that I really do care about people in my life. Real friends or romantic partners would never make you feel bad like that. Sometimes you might fight with them but when you calm down you should feel there is more good then bad. If the fights are all the time it's not good for you.

Abusers don't like a challenge, they loose interest in a person who they think requires too much effort. But they love a person who just believe they are a good person no matter what. These people are rejected by a lot of nurotypicals. They probably have lots of feelings of anger and loneliness too.

Being bored and lonely is far far better than being abused.

What is this fascination with being coupled off anyway? My goodness. You'd think that being single is the worst thing under the sun.