I wish I was neurotypical

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Since I've been on meds I haven't been getting so upset about my diagnosis, but every now and again it eats me up inside and I feel resentful of neurotypicals in their 20s who seem to be doing so much better than me.

I always thought being neurotypical isn't the golden ticket to an easy, happy life...but basically it is. Social skills are essential in this world, and I know I have more social skills than some Aspies, I still don't have enough to land myself a decent job and lots of mates.

OK, intellect helps too, but I'm not that intellectual for an Aspie. I just fall around average. I feel like my sh***y Asperger's is holding me back. I have ADHD as well, so that makes things even harder for me.

All my cousins are neurotypicals, and all work full-time without anxiety getting in the way, and after a long day of work they still seem motivated to go out with their mates in the evenings. Me, I get exhausted from my part-time cleaning job, and crave quiet nights in. I know some neurotypicals like my type of lifestyle too, but not any that I know of. They all seem to be into one thing; going out to bars with their mates and drinking. And me, the only Aspie in the family, finds all that crap daunting. Coincidence? I think not.

And the parents of neurotypical adult children just take their children's social lives for granted. Once their children are 18 they are off-hand, where as I still feel I need support from my parents because of my learning disabilities. I know of some neurotypicals don't have their lives together until they are in their 30s, but it's generally not due to neurological disorders holding them back. I know some neurotypicals can suffer anxiety and depression, but again not any neurotypicals I know of. And people with things like Down's or Fragile-X aren't neurotypicals in my eyes so they don't count.

It's just not fair that some people have to live with a neurological disability. I wish autism was only existent in males, so that I would of had 0 chance of having it.
I keep feeling angry about why I have this Asperger's and my cousins don't. Why me?

I wish I were "normal," too.

But I'm not. And that's the way it is.

I wish NO ONE had the "deficits" of autism--male or female.

I also wish I was normal. I’d have a family a nice house etc. I’d been able to go into construction work gosh knows my uncle wanted me. And I wish I could of I hate being defective

Well, I always thought autism was better off in males because many Aspies on WP argue that some possible autistic males are scientists or technicians, etc. So we kind of needed some autistic people to get where we are today. But if you're like me; eccentric, emotional, hyper, socially awkward, forgetful, etc, I doubt you're going to make much success like inventing a time machine.

I just hate it when people give me a big list on all these autistic people who have accomplished this, that and the other. What's it got to do with me? Not all Aspies are really clever and well-focused and can think technically. I don't have those smarts. As a female, I feel like an eccentric nobody with learning difficulties. Not saying all females on the spectrum are like that, but if you have Asperger's AND average-below IQ, then you might as well just have learning difficulties.

I'm just like you: eccentric, hyper, emotional, etc.

I haven't accomplished much. I've been a clerk all my life.

I don’t have high iq and I have no special talents

I wish so too. I want friends, I want to be able to drive, I want to have a girlfriend, I want to have a job, I just want to be able to be a f*****g normal person and not have my parents control my life

I love being me - but I haven't always. I think being an Aspie is a lot harder on some people than on others, which makes sense given that we're all impacted in different ways.

I sincerely wish those whose lives are damaged or wrecked due to this neurodivergence could push a button and get the changes that would enable them to be happier.