Hell and Despair. And a desire for love from somebody.

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I'm in love with an actress named Lili Taylor. Since a couple weeks before my graduation, my love for her grows stronger. In fact, as days go on I grew to love her more than ever before, even though I may not know Lili personally. It still don't change the fact that I have a lusting crush on her. More than once, I cried, and sometimes big time. I've been very driven to total insanity and hatred because I think about her so much. If only I could get to meet her in person someday, or find a website where I could introduce myself and talk to her, I'd feel much better than sitting in my personal darkness pretending she's talking to me when I'm in bed. Now I feel a lusting desire for revenge or love, and I feel like I wanna fight against her or Amika Fowsar, my still love in a boxing fight to the death, hoping one of them could kill me in battle. What's the reason to live if you gotta suffer like this? WHY?! Life shouldn't have to be this way for me, but it is, and it ain't my fault! At least not totally. If anyone in this website could talk to me about it, I"d like to know about it. Thanks for reading this note.
End of log. Nick Doyle.

Bad things happen to good people, and it's f****d up.

It may seem that way, but you would be surprised. My family believes that what goes around comes around. We all face a series of challenges in our lives at SOME point. Who knows? That perfect cheerleader who dates the most popular guy in school may end up making poor choices later in life such as partying instead of studying or getting pregnant early. There's also the fact that problems would arise later in life that has nothing to do with the choices people make. For one thing, that perfect cheerleader may develop breast cancer much later in life or may lose a loved one in any kind of circumstance. The "perfect" people are not always perfect.

A few years ago, I heard about a popular and seemingly perfect jock commit suicide all of the sudden. Nobody knew why. He had EVERYTHING. It seemed that the jock had problems outside of school. You never know. Maybe that perfect cheerleader could really be living in her car or may have been raped or molested in the past. Again, you never know. We ALL have problems in one form or another. It isn't just the good people that have bad things happen to them.

If you don't know her personally then there are things about her you don't know. Some of those things could make you like her a lot less.

Bad things will happen no matter what you try.

Some good things have happened to me.
But that's probably because I'm a bad person.

Oh, come on! You're not a bad person at all! Like I said, bad things happen to all kinds of people just as good things happen to all kinds of people as well. We all have our ups and downs.

I agree.

Is anyone else getting the Dirt reference here? No? Damn...

You need a new focus Nick

lol @ Sophos followers

Here, here. Get a grip guy. Are you serious? Stop dreaming and get real for a few brief moments during the course of your day.

There is no such thing as justice. Bad things happen to everyone. Being nice doesn't mean anyone will be nice to you. Doing the right thing can cause everything to go wrong. It's tough out there. It's tragic. Workers are abused and exploited despite their diligence; Iraqi citizens live in anarchy after their "liberation"; Paris Hilton goes to jail...oh, wait...maybe there is some justice in the world!