Too much stuff going on...!

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leozelig
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29 Dec 2017, 9:17 am

It's taken me a long time to be able to adjust to moving back to my home country with my husband, and getting used to married life. It's very hard. I was finally settling in and then my mother moved back to our apartment that I've always lived with her :( I hate living with my mother and it has taken a toll on my husband. He thinks she's crazy, and cannot believe I've lived with her for so long...

Now he has decided he wants to move back to the UK together and I am afraid that, at the worst we won't be able to move back. Or I might have to struggle all over again, getting used to living in another country again. It was very hard for me there by myself, relying only on him. He can make me feel really bad, because of his Aspergers syndrome he has too.

Now my mother has decided to have her Italian husband move here, who I have never met before, for 6 months. I don't want him to move here but my mother doesn't care about that because she is selfish. I tried telling her I don't feel comfortable him coming here but she says they won't be home very much, probably just so I leave her alone. I really wish I was rich so that I could move out!! !

I hate being only able to live on my ridiculous disability benefits to support me and my husband. I have not been able to get any information or support in this freaking country I live in, for autistic adults. All these people care about is autistic children! Well some adults didn't get diagnosed until they were all grown up already! I'm really fed up and upset because I don't want to live with a stranger I never met!



BTDT
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29 Dec 2017, 9:22 am

If you have particular issues you may want to ask for help on this forum. There may be other Aspies who have found things that will help.

Autism is a really tough disorder in that the best people to help are the people who have it, but those that have it can't do social services jobs to help other people on the Spectrum.



Ashariel
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29 Dec 2017, 11:45 am

Living with random / extended family members is difficult, and stressful. But like you say, often a necessity if one has low income due to disability. Moving is stressful as well, and autistics struggle with change even more than most people. I've had to face all of that too, and at times it's been overwhelming, and beyond my ability to cope.

Do you have access to counseling at all? I've been able to see a short-term crisis therapist in the past, and for insurance purposes it was put down as 'anxiety', since autism wasn't a covered option. It can be helpful during times of extreme stress, when you just need someone to talk to, and feel like you're not completely alone.

In any case I wish you the best in dealing with this transition, and hope things get better from here!



leozelig
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29 Dec 2017, 12:08 pm

BTDT wrote:
If you have particular issues you may want to ask for help on this forum. There may be other Aspies who have found things that will help.

Autism is a really tough disorder in that the best people to help are the people who have it, but those that have it can't do social services jobs to help other people on the Spectrum.

I agree about aspies being the most helpful. It did help to vent about it, I tend to just bottle it up and didn't think to start talking about what's going on until a few days ago. Now I've just been freaking out. I'll ask for more information on the forum again, thanks for bringing that up for me BTDT as I hadn't thought about it.



leozelig
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29 Dec 2017, 3:49 pm

Ashariel wrote:
Living with random / extended family members is difficult, and stressful. But like you say, often a necessity if one has low income due to disability. Moving is stressful as well, and autistics struggle with change even more than most people. I've had to face all of that too, and at times it's been overwhelming, and beyond my ability to cope.

Do you have access to counseling at all? I've been able to see a short-term crisis therapist in the past, and for insurance purposes it was put down as 'anxiety', since autism wasn't a covered option. It can be helpful during times of extreme stress, when you just need someone to talk to, and feel like you're not completely alone.

In any case I wish you the best in dealing with this transition, and hope things get better from here!

Hi Ashariel, thanks for your encouragement, it helps to have this place to write about what's going on. I have therapy once a week but it's been hard to express what's been bothering me with the therapist. I've kind of been mostly talking about the holidays and not a lot of the more difficult stuff with him. I'll try to bring it up in the next session, it's just hard to get it into words sometimes.