I Want To Get Better At Avoiding Certain Threads

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From reading some of the posts here, I feel very uncomfortable, almost as if I'm being unintentionally baited with some of the new ones that had been posted since my time back here... Not that the posts themselves are offensive in general... but more so they touch base on very personal aspects found in my life. When I see people have conversations about such things, my mind quickly turns to ideas of, "I'm looked at as a freak. Why am I even on here? I hate being here... I don't feel comfortable or safe... I can never be myself without people trying to determine if I'm sane or not..."

I'm trying to avoid clicking on certain ones that are red flags for me...but it's hard. It's such a terrible feeling being tempted in clicking to see what the post is about knowing that it will make me upset and even cry and potentially cause me to self harm. It's been a terrible habit of mine to look at posts that I know I shouldn't and it's hellishly difficult to not post my thoughts or feelings on the subject at hand without feeling like a freak or having thoughts swirl in my mind that I'll be judged. It was one of the reasons why I've been away from this website and I don't want it to be a reason if I end up needing to flee again.

I don't know what to do about it outside from just avoiding some subjects and refrain from posting on threads that trigger me... Any suggestions? Maybe something to keep in mind when I come across something that stirs up ill thoughts in my mind?

I know the feeling. I've been avoiding the politic and religion part of the forum since I joined since I those are often dangerous subjects for me, but lately I've felt like I should ditch a few other sections here, too.

Are the topics that make you uncomfortable usually in the same sections of the forum? If so, how about avoiding those sections completely? You might miss something usefull that way of course, but if the amount of usefull stuff is much smaller than the amount of harmful then it might be better just to avoid it. If the problem is with the posts of some members then always check the sender first. If it's someone who makes you uncomfortable then either skip it entirely or remind yourself to not take the person seriously before you read the message.

The topics that make me uncomfortable tend to be spread out all over the different parts of the forum. Though the mains ones I tend to find are in the "Adult Autism Issues" and the "Politics, Philosophy, and Religion" sections of the site.

I can avoid clicking on the recent posts that come from "Politics, Philosophy, and Religion" (as I really don't benefit from that section) but I don't want to avoid the "Adult Autism Issues" section since it's my favorite section of the forums and I feel like it does help me in a way. But with some of the topics people bring up about certain groups of people with alternative lives etc. it becomes hard to avoid those. In my mind, I'm like. "Oh? A post that I can actually relate to? I must click it. Maybe it will help me in some way" and then the other part of me is like, "No...I need to avoid this, they are just going to say something about you that you won't like and make you upset."

There are posters that I definitely just skim over due to them having very one-sided opinions but then there are those I really don't have a problem with at all... it's just some of the people's lack of understanding about certain aspects of different lifestyles that really get me, which is not something bad on their part... just when it comes to trying to understand certain people and the way they live their lives and how their mind works...tend...to get...unintentionally "insensitive"... If that would be the right word to use. I get extremely defensive when it comes to sexual/romantic/spiritual type of stuff especially when it's geared towards my interests.... so it makes me have irrational thoughts about people and the situation even when the person themselves don't mean any harm.

The sexual/romantic/spiritual related posts are the sort of topics I want to avoid...yet at the same time... it's the sort of issues (and my problems with my mother) that I need help with so I get tempted to click what I see relates to me (if that makes sense).

Oh goodness...I don't think I made really much any sense right now. I feel like I contradicted everything you suggested to me... I guess you can consider the above more of an elaboration to my original post. >_<

I really will consider what you've posted about weighing the scale on whether or not a post will be of use to me or if it just cause me more problems. And I'll try check the original poster first before I decide on whether to browse through the post or not and to not take certain comments too seriously...if I can. Thank you.

Yep. "Weighing the scales" is a very good idea.

I'm sorry you're feeling upset with many posts.

I bet you'll get much satisfaction within the Art, Literature, etc. subforum. And the level of discourse is higher. No bullcrap rhetoric!

It's always great to see you and listen to your music posts in the 'What Are You Listening To, This Very Second' thread.

This might not be up your alley, so to speak, but, thought I'd recommend the 'Off The Wall/Forum Games' sub-forum. There are all, different sorts of games to choose from, and many nice, easy going members to interact with, and little to no confrontation to contend with. It's simply relaxing and enjoyable. Hope to see you, there. : ))

> I Want To Get Better At Avoiding Certain Threads

That's a really important life-skill to practice, and WP is actually a good place to practice it. It is a matter of habit that develops though repetition -- requiring effort at first, but then becoming automatic. You just have to have a mental list of names or topics that you know will contribute nothing constructive, and just skip right over them without wasting your time -- knowing that there are other interesting and valuable things to read instead.

I like to remember Oliver Cromwell's dictum: "We need not fight with every dog that barks at us."

No no, I understand what you mean... I think. You know that there could be something harmful in a topic, yet you click it anyway 'cause there's a chance that it could have something useful or interesting instead, right?

Thanks for the suggestion. c:



Yeah :c