I'm exhausted

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These past weeks have been difficult for me. I don't really know what to do with myself. I've been depressed and tired and having meltdowns. I can't handle being around NTs right now and I'm tired of acting like them in order to make them comfortable.

I can't really "pass", it's usually pretty obvious to others that something's "wrong" with me but what little I could do before I just can't handle right now.

There are things I need to do but I can't bring myself to do them because I will need to talk to people and I'm afraid they will just think I'm on drugs or ret*d or crazy or something. Also I'm having trouble with words right now so I'm not even sure if I could talk.

Part of me just wants to avoid everyone. My family just expects me to act as NT as possible and it kind of works around people I know well because I can talk and look at them but I don't think I am able to do that around others.

Can anyone else relate? Do any of you have suggestions?

I went through a low patch recently. What was striking was how, as soon as I started feeling better and more positive, all the problems that had felt insurmountable suddenly became more manageable. So the important thing is just to get out of that negative mind-set.
Sorry, I know it's easier said than done. What worked for me this time was identifying one particular problem area that I could do something about. So that might involve talking to somebody and asking to be given some slack, or just not forcing yourself into certain situations. Once that one issue improves, your mood might pick up.