This issue still perplexes me. Seriously. Can we discuss it?

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Most of you know me by forum reputation. Some of you may not. So, let me recap:

~6 years ago, when I was at my worst and symptoms were plain as day obvious, I figured out I was on the spectrum. Check my posting history, I had all the same complaints as everyone else here.
Just prior to that I had met an Herbalist, and his father, a Naturopathic Doctor.
~4.5 years ago, because of them, I figured out how to treat my ASD and other symptoms with great success.
4+ years ago I shared that here on the forums.

The summary of the response here was that, in general, people didn't believe me. Here we are 4+ years later and I continue to treat my symptoms and have them under control well enough to work & play and live and enjoy life like never before. Everything I do today with ease used to be impossible for me. I now have my sights set on much larger goals than I ever dreamt possible for me. etc.

The thing that still seems BIZARRE to me is that many of you make posts with very serious complaints about your health and symptoms, ASD, social things, crippling depression, anxiety etc & some stating they wish they didn't have ASD, that they were NT and so on.. and yet almost No One ever makes a post about what they've changed, tried, or done differently to treat their symptoms, improve their health, and live a happier life. That is the thing that seriously perplexes me. I don't understand why people would opt to complain about things they don't like about themselves instead of trying to change them.

Yes, obviously, I'm referring more specifically to the things I've shared about myself, my health, the diet, supplements, and protocol I follow to treat my own symptoms. It is downright BIZARRE to me that people will carry on month after month, year after year, posting about their suicidal depression and hate for ASD & yet they refuse to Try even one bit of what I've shared that's worked wonders for me and my life. Personally, when I was at my lowest point in life I was willing to do A N Y T H I N G it took to think/feel/Be better - and I have. I don't understand why others don't have this mentality AT ALL & instead choose to continue venting their complaints about all the things they don't like about ASD instead of taking action and trying to do something about it. And yes, more specifically, trying to do some of the things I've done. I do Not believe for one second that I am the only ASD person on the planet that these treatment methods are extremely effective for. It's still just completely weird to me that the general response is that people aren't willing to try things for themselves until there's empirical evidence from a double blind medical study on my treatment protocol conducted 10 or 20 years from now. IMO, that's a long f*****g time to be miserable, and it'd take only a matter of days/weeks/months to Try what I've done and see for yourselves if it's going to be of help to you or not.

I say in general because there have been people who've messaged/emailed over the past few years who have in fact tried some/all of the things I've shared for themselves or their children and have then gotten back to me and said it's made a difference in their lives. So, it's not 100% of people, but it's very few who've opted to try treating themselves via diet/etc.

Why? Why is it a better option to dismiss what I share & continue hating how your life is going? Even if you don't believe me through & through, why is it not a better option to try (some or all of) what I've shared and then if it doesn't work for you, you'll know it doesn't work & can forget about it as an option and/or share here that it didn't do one bit of good vs. simply post that you don't believe it for the sake of not believing it w/o having any evidence whatsoever to justify saying it does not or will not work for you?

I'm happier, healthier, wealthier, and moving forward with ever bigger life plans. I don't want to be able to say "I told you so." I want others to be happier, healthier, wealthier, and moving forward with ever bigger life plans, too. Seems like a much better option than living in the same undesirable state of mind and being and constantly complaining about it & wishing things were different. Bizarre. Perplexing. Please explain.

I don't have a lot to add and can't comment on your specific posts but it's rather ironic that I stumbled upon this as I was going to post a similar rant. In particular, in the love and dating section. I was beyond hopeless but like you, I was willing to do whatever it took. Fast forward 6 years and I literally have the exact opposite problem being one of the few who has a successful relationship. I assumed that I have some 'street cred' given that I started at the bottom and tried to offer advice to anyone I felt receptive to it. All that I have encountered was people who literally acted like I don't exist and continue to complain month after month without even considering trying what I suggested. I'm not some crackpot and I fight hard to earn what I have today.

I can only assume that some people, for reasons I can't understand simply either want to experience being miserable or need to fall flat on their face before realizing what the problem is. My own mother experiences chronic, debilitating pain but refuses to even try cannabis like her doctor suggested. I will never forget how shocked my counsellor was when she learned I did everything she asked: at the time I couldn't understand why. Wouldn't any rational person trust the expert to at least to give their advice a try? Turns out I was probably her first client who followed her advice and recommendations to the letter.

I suspect that some folks are simply too clinically depressed to actively engage; been there, done that.
I suspect that some other folks were so viciously brutalized growing up that they internalized the abuse to the point that the bullying of childhood still goes on in their head. Though their tormentors are long gone, they live on in their mind; like a 24/7 continuous-loop tape between their ears. The "inner terrorist" can make it damned hard to change. Been there, done that, too.

Don't take this personally, any of you. I'm equally confused by my own family members who suffer from the same issues as myself, only for the most part to a lesser extent, who refuse to try any of the things I have EVEN THOUGH they've seen first hand the difference it's made in me. I am literally an entirely different person than I was 5-6 years ago. I've gone from a "no hope lost cause" to "holy f**k look at him go!" with, for the first time in my life, people encouraging me to pursue my wildest ambition yet - saying "Yeah, I can see you doing that. Go for it!" instead of discouraging me in any way shape or form, politely telling me to stop day dreaming because they don't think I have the ability or follow through. Now I'm the guy they'd bet the farm on doing things.

With my own family members, with those decades older than me the only excuse they've verbalized is that "Well, when you've been a certain way you're whole life it's hard to make changes." (diet etc) I kind of get that, especially since ASD people are resistant to change. But the thing is these same family members will Try some things, ie medications prescribed by MD's to see if they help. So, they do Want to change/improve/feel better.. but they're still not willing to do the things I have. Bizarre! Especially when they have meltdowns and state that they "can't go on living like this," etc etc. Each and every time I remind them that they don't have to; they can begin trying what's worked for me. Yet they still stubbornly refuse. So, I simply don't bring it up very often. I'll live my life, they can live theirs as miserably and up & down as they like vs. with better balance.

Others in my family refuse to accept their traits/symptoms & likely diagnosis. I think they're against "labels," & feel as if they admit there's something "different," about them that they're flawed or a failure etc and thus don't want to face the music despite the difficulties it creates for them. Also, none of the others have truly hit the weird medical extreme rock bottom that I hit and I truly believe that it's because of that that I'm the one who was willing to do ANYTHING it took to be better. They've never been unable to work and function in regular life. They've never had their brain functions continue in a downward spiral. They haven't gone through the same crippling anxiety and suicidal depression etc. For me, it was, as they say.. "Mortality Motivation," - I was either going to figure it out and get healthier or die. Dying, or quitting/giving up on life, was not an option for me. And so, I learned & have done the things I have and am living a MUCH better, happier, healthier, wealthier second life for it. They're still content just plodding along and rolling with the punches of the difficulties they don't even realize they face because they refuse to learn a damned thing about ASD. To each their own - but the thing is with all of these ones, is that they don't constantly complain about symptoms and then do nothing about them. They just live with them and go through life oblivious to the fact that they're even symptomatic, for the most part, in the first place.

That's where people here differ from my immediate family members. People here Know their diagnoses and particular undesirable symptoms and traits etc. And they complain about them. And state that they WISH they didn't have those symptoms, whether a multitude of ASD symptoms, suicidal depression, sky high anxiety etc. Wishing things away doesn't fix anything in terms of health. Only healing can. By and large that's done via medicine, time, & effort. It's just beyond perplexing to me why people here would choose to continue doing as they've always done & getting as they've always gotten, staying in a state of perpetually hating their existence, their lives, themselves etc vs. Trying things that have worked for others. Obviously I'm specifically referring to trying things I have done for myself, but I'd be happy af to read that people were trying anything different that has worked for others and may work for them vs. another day/week/month/year(s) of having the same complaints and attempting absolutely nothing to fix them.

Despite spending much of my life trying to keep physically and mentally healthy my symptoms have steadily worsened over the years. I am in my mid fifties now. I am lucky enough to have a good job and enough money to do most of the things I want. I keep myself very active pursuing my interests both outdoors and at home. I eat a healthy diet and have tried all sorts of different dietary options to see if any foods cause some of my problems. I always take the medicines my doctors have prescribed for me. I have support from a close friend and my sister and her family. I have tried various different therapy options. I have tried making every change to my life that I could think of.

Yet it still feels as though I have been on a downward trajectory for most of my life, particularly the last ten years. I suspect that what has actually happened is that I have tried to do too much and have spent more personal resources than I actually have available. I have always pushed myself very hard at work as frankly I am terrified of losing my job if I don't perform well enough. I have also always pushed myself very hard when taking part in outdoor activities; hiking, climbing and kayaking. I only realised fairly recently that I can be easily overwhelmed by positive experiences almost as much as negative ones, and that what I really need to do is to slow down a bit and not try to cram so much into my life.

I was only diagnosed with Autism Spectrum Disorder very recently and am still coming to terms with, and trying to accept my diagnosis. At times I still just wish I could be cured. Other times I feel OK about it but I think that what I need to accept is that I need to re-boot my life at a slightly lower level of intensity. I think your positive outlook is very admirable but I would just be slightly wary about your level of excitement about the things you think you can achieve. Maybe you will be fine and the rest of your life will indeed be very positive. Or maybe twenty years down the line you will crash and burn simply because you have tried to do too much and have run out of personal resources.

^I applaud your efforts - sounds like you've truly tried to do the very best you can for yourself & your health over the years, especially with keeping active.

I appreciate your concern, however, I am not headed for a burnout or a meltdown. I'm 4+ years into a much more balanced life because I figured out how to actually treat & manage my ASD symptoms - and I do. My stress/depression/anxiety levels, in general, are less than 5% of what they were 5-6 years ago. My physical condition is night & day different, too. I don't run/hike/stretch nearly as often as I should, but at the very least I keep up with my daily pushups - more than 200,000 over the past few years or so. I function better in every way, I'm stronger, faster etc etc - more mentally and physically capable of taking things on than ever before in my life. Had I been day dreaming about really big goals 10 years ago, that's about as far as they could go.. day dreams. Now? Now I actually have a very real chance of accomplishing them.

This is probably why I was 28 before going on my first official date. The difference is, if someone I trusted sat down with me and rationally explained step by step what I needed to do to attract female attention without becoming a 'bad boy' (rather than using one line "advice") I would have listened carefully. It would have saved me a lot of grief, wasted time and money and from the frustration that is meeting flaky woman after flaky woman.

I had a friend I had to let go because he refused to listen to anyone's advice. Even though we are almost the same age and I was once where he is now, he continues to rant on Facebook about how women are liars, cheaters, abusive, etc. I had a woman I barely knew contact me personally to try to get in touch with him and he still insists no female is interested in him. Makes no sense to me.

I understand if you think I’m mad, I haven’t done too much to prove otherwise lately. My current situation is actually getting nearer a resolution, because I want to help myself. But onto the topic itself.

For instance with dating, I dated men by asking them out, read body language books on attraction signs and I can spot signs a mile off, whether the flirting or just attraction is aimed at me or somebody else. There is a woman on here who has really had it for me, she is liked by everyone but implied to me (when I tried to help her) that I was “messed up” and “not very bright”. It was extremely rude. She does nothing but moan about her dating situation and it seriously annoys me. It wouldn’t bother me half as much if she tried to do something about it, and if she hadn’t snapped at me for just trying to help. I got a few PMs from other people acknowledging the same experience as I did, so it wasn’t just me.

As for diet, it’s also the same for me. I know certain foods affect my behaviour. If I eat bacon, I go nuts, like that rant you saw the other day that I deleted. I may be upset and the situation around me feels frustrating and during the past couple of years for me - very upsetting, but it’s eating anything with preservatives in it, or any cola flavoured drink, that sends me over the edge. My behaviour changes for a few days to anger. Everybody pooh-poohs me about this, but I know what affects me. I’ve written it down. I’ve studied myself. I don’t understand anyone else with health issues or anything related to autism, that they don’t want to try and solve.

And I’ve always thought highly of you GHF for asking for advice and genuinely being open to receiving advice. I suppose you, like me, view valuable information (because any useful information is valuable, right?) like a gift rather than criticism.

Hmm... so, would it be okay for me to complain if I also told what I have tried in order to make things work and what things I have been able to fix? I don't know about others but I'm certainly cabable of complaining about my issues and trying to fix them at the same time... well, not literally at the same time but I'm sure you know what I mean. So, do you think that it's okay to vent and look for support by telling about one's problems if the person is also working on them, or do you think people should drop complaining entirely and just focus on doing something?

Goldfish21 can you please post here again which methods have helped you fix which behavioral issues?
I vaguely remember something about eating broccoli .

I feel like most of the problems with this arises from the fact that people (not you) often offer charlatan "cures" for autism which might cost lots of money. And might harm the autistic person.

It's great that you haven't charged any money for what you're advocating. I believe that's the clincher---that you're offering the advice for free. If you were trying to pitch what you've discovered for money, then I might become more skeptical.

Then there's the oft-stated consideration that "what works for you might not work for someone else."

What you've advocated doesn't seem like it would harm anybody.

I believe a person who is schooled in nutrition should offer some input here.

^ A nutritionist isn’t qualified. A dietitian is.

Oh all right. I stand corrected.

When I was a mental health counselor and case manager, I found many/most of my clients were accepting of help. But a few could only be called "help-rejecting complainers." They didn't want to ever get any better; the result they were hoping for was attention. If they ever DID get better, they would lose that attention. I guess this probably arises in people whose parents only treated them well when they were sick or suffering?

One of my clients became disillusioned with me and asked to transfer to a different therapist. REJOICE! That was fine with me! (I think he was expecting me to be hurt or something - no way!)

I see some of the same dynamic here on WP. My choice has been not to engage with them, because it is futile and my dislike of their intransigent passivity and self-defeating behavior would be sure to reflect badly on me.

Yes. Venting is fine. Everyone does it. I do it. But if someone ONLY vents, rants, raves & complains and Never posts a word about any effort to change or improve their situation, that's where it gets odd to me. I'd WAY rather read someone's more balanced posts about 2 steps forward, 1 step back & know that they are taking action to deal with their undesirable symptoms vs. only ever hearing about the 1 step back and wondering why said person doesn't seem to want to make an effort to get themselves out of that situation.

I may have posted an article about a compound found in broccoli that was being studied to treat ASD, or posted in a related thread, but that's not what I've done.

My main post was in ~November 2013 after being on the forums for more than a year, initially with the same complaints as everyone else. Then I met an Herbalist & his father, a Naturopathic doctor. They didn't tell me what to do. I learned a few things from them and was open to learning a lot more because of them. I did my own research & ended up making a lotion out of epsom salts to detox salicylate acids, then put myself on a completely medicinal diet & regiment of medicinal herbs/oils/teas etc, then added in doing high volume herbal (garlic/organic apple cider vinegar + salts + filtered water) 3-5L enemas as a colon/large intestine cleanse (there is a digestive component/enteric nervous system to ASD. I believe it is some sort of intestinal fungal infection based on which medicines are effective against it. Intestinal dysbiosis - literally an imbalance of life.) & I take a number of vitamins/minerals/probiotics (probiotics in both ends) & more recently have added vitamin D + UV light. That's it in a nut shell. The gross science part is what's likely turned most people off from what I've discovered and done, but it's medically relevant. Many here called me a liar, or a snake oil salesman, or said it was a hoax. None of the above. I've never offered anything for sale, only shared my story freely and suggested buying things at local health food/produce shops. I have no reason to lie about any of it, nor perpetuate a lifelong hoax. You can easily find the thread. I believe it was titled something like "This is how I've been treating myself with miraculous results." edit: Here it is: http://wrongplanet.net/forums/viewtopic.php?p=5766346

My posting history a few months before that thread and prior is evidence of my frustration with symptoms. So is my Facebook timeline for the ~10 years I've been on there. So are my forum posts on other forums over the past nearly 20 years if someone really wanted to do an in depth internet background check on my thoughts/behaviours throughout my life vs. now.

I've since posted various articles about more recent studies done on the gut microbiome and it's correlation to ASD symptoms. The hard science is slowly catching up to what I've been sharing here for more than 4 years now.

Anyways, as a brief update: I've been working, playing, kiteboarding in the Summers, saving money, investing money, partying with friends a few times a year on major party weekends w/ 500-900 people.. doing all the things I never did before. Catching up on life at breakneck speed. I'm not wealthy (yet) but I have some money & a new car etc and now I have my sights set on working towards ever bigger goals - the most ambitious of my life to date. All of the things I do every day and take for granted used to be impossible for me ~6 years ago. Now they're so routine I need ever bigger challenges & am beyond stoked to have a massive goal to work towards even if it takes me 10-15 years to accomplish. I've said it many times here & I'm not joking: I'm living a second life for having learned and done all of this.