I can't handle all my negativity

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I'm a very negative person and I'm skeptical about everyone. A lot of times, I start having some solid reasons for my feelings but I just build too much up on it, and I tend to be very bad hiding it so I always get in conflict or I end up talking bad things about other to them or to other people. For a moment, I feel everyone and everything is bad and then I feel I'm the bad one. Also, for my habit of talking too much to people who maybe I shouldn't trust, I'm seeing the day I'm going to get f****d up.

I had a very stressing experience with some colleagues from work, and I had a lot of reason but I just start feeding some paranoia they hated me and I start to have very strong negative feelings about. I just acted rude with them because of it but I also talk badly about them to several people, I'm very stressed over now with the fact they may get to know what I talk about them and also about my own rudeness and negativity.

I don't know what to do. It's killing my possibility to be happy.

I dont know what advice to give you. Maybe someone else here can help you with that. I have the same problem with being skeptical with people. Then I feel bad abut myself for judging everyone. I think it would help to have a friend you can trust and maybe learn from them how not to be skeptical of everyone. Of course there are some people you should be skeptical of...

I have family members that can be negative, I try to be an alternative/realistic voice. For example one might ruminate on something that was said that triggers her emotionally, she comes to the conclusion that the other person was being rude/insensitive/bitchy and ruminates some more, playing out scenarios in her mind, reaffirming her conclusion. After she has been through this process I will chat with her and provide an alternative point of view that gently pokes holes in her conclusion, enough to introduce a doubt about its accuracy.

How you feel is real, but it isn't necessarily reality, a phrase that helps me to hold off on reacting in these situations is to Keep your powder dry.