I want to vent again

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I just want to vent off anger in here again because sometimes I just get really furious and want to blow off steam. Unfortunately, it's not always appropriate to do so in real life.

You know I believe in God, but I think he isn't perfect or all that great, even malevolent? I just hate how he allowed me to be born into this world if I am instructed to not "love the things of this world". I think God is cruel and an angry tyrant sometimes. Why can't he just created us born in Heaven in the first place? I don't think God deserves worship at this point, talking to his followers is like talking to a wall. I just want him to suffer one day for all the pain he allowed us.

I have trouble typing when I'm this angry sometimes.

If you're born in Heaven, you will never learn anything.

Blame it on Eve eating that Apple of Temptation. She got both her and Adam thrown out of Heaven.

I agree. Why does God allow such horrible cruelty in the world? I read an article the other day about a family who had their kids chained to beds like dogs. The kids were underweight and were lying in their own filth. I don't understand how anyone can do this.

True believers have told me that God gave us free will and that the choices these people made led to the horrible cruelty they inflicted upon their children.

Although I understand the concept of free will, I still have a hard time reconciling the image of a loving and merciful God who allowed another abusive couple to drive their family of adopted children off a cliff in California.

Since we have no control over God, all we can really do is to make the best choices we can and to lead the best lives we can. My favorite quote from John Wesley (who founded the Methodist Church) is:

“Do all the good you can,
By all the means you can,
In all the ways you can,
In all the places you can,
At all the times you can,
To all the people you can,
As long as ever you can.”

I don't have any control over how other people behave ... but I can choose how to live my life.

I like living by the Golden Rule which is not, "He who has the gold gets to make the rules." My golden rule is more biblical i.e. "Do unto others as you would have them do unto you."

The world would be a much better place if we made an effort to be nice to each other.

I can take that some evil and suffering exists in this world as a given, but some of the things going on like international conflicts and domestic issues focusing on politics sometimes do have a direct or visible impact on our freedom. Maybe "free will" as a concept needs to be named something else. One of the reasons why I get mad and frustrated up to the point of wanting to destroy something or mock God is because even disagreeing with his ways is a sin. I don't know how else I can cope. I sometimes just wish that I wouldn't exist at all after I die.

Adam was just as much to blame. He ate of the fruit by listening to her instead of God in this story.

I see Adam was a real bumhole through the whole narrative. Eve got all the blame and was used an excuse to treat women poorly.

As for the OP feeling about God. I've been there and totally understand. Very much so. The God of my formative years was just like my parents. He had favorites and the rest were hung to dry.

I can't offer any useful advice other than perhaps talking with a priest or rabbi.

I also don't want to be lectured about how God is supposed to love me anymore. I don't like how we "shouldn't love the things of this world", yet some of the way we are created is actually biologically driven to desire or want some things of "this world" and life isn't fair for everyone who doesn't always get to see or experience those things. I don't know how to stop feeling so angry and furious about it. It doesn't matter if God is real or imaginary. I feel like either way, there isn't any hope and I'll continue to lose.

I wish people empathized with my understanding and not be harsh, instead of being stick-in-the-mud or negative because I have certain emotional needs and they aren't giving me any hope either. It's hard for me to speak up when they are trying to one-up me too.

I am also not exaggerating when I talk about "most" or "all" Christians, either.

Today, 5/20/18 is a day that I'm feeling depressed again.

I just wish today's society wasn't so extremely corrupted and we go back to the way things were in the first half of the 20th century in some ways.

It must be difficult what you're going through, but what's done by humans is done by humans. There are certainly plenty of churchians which are not Christians, they just go to a themed building as their social club and next to nothing more. It sucks not getting along with people so well, though I'm finding it has more to do with upbringing and personality type than, say, God not liking you in particular. As an Aspie and INTJ, I don't get along with most people, but I've also decided not to care what others think, except for the few which I count as friends. I only have two friends: Joe, a fellow INTJ, and Sheila, and ENFP who has been my friend for 11 years and treats me like an equal even though she's way far above me. The rest are people I don't trust to watch a hamster. I had thought my ex-wife, Jacklyn, was my best friend, but being left for dead by her proved that wrong. Did God leave me for dead though? No. Even when I couldn't find work or do anything, God has still provided for me and my birds. It sucks how people so badly may treat each other, but it's the people who are in the wrong. Sorry for what you're going through though.

Oh, I certainly hear that. Minus the wars, the culture for America and nations other than Germany were pretty good then. Now it's all gone to crap.