Page 1 of 2 [ 23 posts ]  Go to page 1, 2  Next

Ecomatt91
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 10 Apr 2015
Posts: 818

25 Apr 2018, 11:23 pm

I knew my life is over when you are not being accepted in this world. I knew I become a late bloomer at 27 when I started taking lot of advice about dating, sex, relationships, friends and that. Still struggling. 9 years worth of different psychologists and still nothing changed me. What the problem is? You can't fix disabilities, hence the problem is how women sees me.

Life is over.



auntblabby
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 12 Feb 2010
Gender: Male
Posts: 114,602
Location: the island of defective toy santas

25 Apr 2018, 11:35 pm

the first part where you had hope is over. then there is a long 2nd part, a wilderness period. and if you stick around until you exit the wilderness, you will find wisdom. but that second part is hard.



Ecomatt91
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 10 Apr 2015
Posts: 818

25 Apr 2018, 11:52 pm

auntblabby wrote:
the first part where you had hope is over. then there is a long 2nd part, a wilderness period. and if you stick around until you exit the wilderness, you will find wisdom. but that second part is hard.


Sorry I don't quite understand this. Can you clearly rephrase what you saying.



auntblabby
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 12 Feb 2010
Gender: Male
Posts: 114,602
Location: the island of defective toy santas

26 Apr 2018, 12:14 am

Ecomatt91 wrote:
auntblabby wrote:
the first part where you had hope is over. then there is a long 2nd part, a wilderness period. and if you stick around until you exit the wilderness, you will find wisdom. but that second part is hard.


Sorry I don't quite understand this. Can you clearly rephrase what you saying.

all i was saying, was that when I fully discovered just how abnormal I was [at your present age], I struggled with it for decades, not knowing what to do with and about myself, in a sort of wilderness of meaning, I didn't now why I was on earth, what I was doing here, i didn't get how and why i could be so unwanted. I was stumbling in the dark [so to speak] without a clue. acceptance is what happens when you exit this wilderness period and discover that 1]"normal" is not all it's made out to be, and 2] I am a creation of the universe just like all the rest, no worse and no better. some folk are outliers, not meant for social functioning. I am one of those outliers. I do have a function, but it is not the same function as the social types. it took me decades to come to the point where i can accept this even if 100% understanding is still not there.



Ecomatt91
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 10 Apr 2015
Posts: 818

26 Apr 2018, 12:39 am

Oh umm to be honest I know what I am doing and what is my life about. I have strong career development background. Iam keynote speaker, traveler and that etc.

I know who I am. I am assertive, honest, straightforward, intelligent, organised and extraverted personality. I know who I am.

Despite living in world being autistic with hearing loss it adds more pressure.



auntblabby
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 12 Feb 2010
Gender: Male
Posts: 114,602
Location: the island of defective toy santas

26 Apr 2018, 12:49 am

I was not saying you were NOT any of those good things :wtg: I WAS saying that at your age I had not idea how to function socially. I didn't learn the importance of good social functioning until I was in relatively late adulthood, and I didn't come to terms with it until I was old and gray.



goldfish21
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 17 Feb 2013
Age: 42
Gender: Male
Posts: 22,612
Location: Vancouver, BC, Canada

07 May 2018, 2:35 pm

Disagree. People fix disabilities all the time. Sometimes through medicine, others through prosthetics or technology etc etc.


_________________
No :heart: for supporting trump. Because doing so is deplorable.


Raleigh
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 7 Jul 2014
Age: 125
Gender: Non-binary
Posts: 34,585
Location: Out of my mind

07 May 2018, 3:04 pm

Not everything can be fixed.
That's life.
It becomes a lesson in accepting what is and learning to be ok with that.


_________________
It's like I'm sleepwalking


goldfish21
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 17 Feb 2013
Age: 42
Gender: Male
Posts: 22,612
Location: Vancouver, BC, Canada

07 May 2018, 3:22 pm

But some things can be fixed, you just may not have learned how to do it yet.

It seems to me that if you've spent 9 years working with psychologists and have not made any measurable progress towards fixing whatever it is you want to fix, that perhaps that method is not the one that's going to solve your problems.

There's value in learning what doesn't work for you, too. But only if you take a breath and acknowledge that, and then move forward with a different plan of attack to try out and see if it benefits you.

No sense in doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.


_________________
No :heart: for supporting trump. Because doing so is deplorable.


Fireblossom
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 18 Jan 2017
Gender: Female
Posts: 3,577

08 May 2018, 7:46 am

goldfish21 wrote:
Disagree. People fix disabilities all the time. Sometimes through medicine, others through prosthetics or technology etc etc.


That's not fixing a disability, that's making it easier to tolerate and live with. If taking whatever helps (medication, fake limb etc.) away means the problems come back, then it's not fixed, it's just being controlled... I have some stuff that's been put in my body because of my disability, but it's not fixing it, it just controls the symptoms in a way that prevents them from killing me. If they were taken away without being replaced by new ones, I would not be fixed, I'd be dead.

It's true that some things, like problems caused by autism, can fade away with time, but it's not because the autism dissapears (=gets fixed), it's because the person has found ways to deal with it so that it won't bother them anymore. When a person loses an arm, he becomes disabled and he's still disabled when he learns to live with just one arm even if there aren't so many problems in his life anymore because of it.



The_Face_of_Boo
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 16 Jun 2010
Age: 42
Gender: Non-binary
Posts: 33,116
Location: Beirut, Lebanon.

08 May 2018, 7:59 am

Raleigh wrote:
Not everything can be fixed.
That's life.
It becomes a lesson in accepting what is and learning to be ok with that.


This.



SaveFerris
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 3 Sep 2016
Gender: Male
Posts: 14,762
Location: UK

08 May 2018, 8:02 am

grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change the courage to change the things I can and the wisdom to know the difference.


_________________
R Tape loading error, 0:1

Hypocrisy is the greatest luxury. Raise the double standard


Trueno
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 2 Jul 2017
Age: 69
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,788
Location: UK

08 May 2018, 8:39 am

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
Raleigh wrote:
Not everything can be fixed.
That's life.
It becomes a lesson in accepting what is and learning to be ok with that.


This.


This X 2.


_________________
Steve J

Unkind tongue, right ill hast thou me rendered
For such desert to do me wreak and shame


IstominFan
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 25 Nov 2016
Age: 60
Gender: Female
Posts: 11,114
Location: Santa Maria, CA.

08 May 2018, 9:24 am

Agreed. Control is not cure, but I am thankful that at least I have the control. Medications alone aren't the answer. That and the will and the belief it will work is what helps me. I know I will be different all my life but, if I work at it and use my common sense, good things can happen.



goldfish21
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 17 Feb 2013
Age: 42
Gender: Male
Posts: 22,612
Location: Vancouver, BC, Canada

08 May 2018, 1:33 pm

Fireblossom wrote:
goldfish21 wrote:
Disagree. People fix disabilities all the time. Sometimes through medicine, others through prosthetics or technology etc etc.


That's not fixing a disability, that's making it easier to tolerate and live with. If taking whatever helps (medication, fake limb etc.) away means the problems come back, then it's not fixed, it's just being controlled... I have some stuff that's been put in my body because of my disability, but it's not fixing it, it just controls the symptoms in a way that prevents them from killing me. If they were taken away without being replaced by new ones, I would not be fixed, I'd be dead.

It's true that some things, like problems caused by autism, can fade away with time, but it's not because the autism dissapears (=gets fixed), it's because the person has found ways to deal with it so that it won't bother them anymore. When a person loses an arm, he becomes disabled and he's still disabled when he learns to live with just one arm even if there aren't so many problems in his life anymore because of it.


Doesn't make it any less worthwhile.

I bet NONE of my friends/family that wear hearing aids would give them up and say "F it, I'd rather not hear as much as possible."

And same applies to me with ASD; I treat & manage my symptoms with natural medicines and it allows me to live a much fuller life of work/play/socializing. It requires that I continue to take said medicine vs. a one shot deal and I'm good to go for life, but so what? I'm okay with "fixes," requiring maintenance vs. being permanent. I much prefer it over no fix at all.


_________________
No :heart: for supporting trump. Because doing so is deplorable.


Fireblossom
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 18 Jan 2017
Gender: Female
Posts: 3,577

08 May 2018, 2:04 pm

goldfish21 wrote:
Fireblossom wrote:
goldfish21 wrote:
Disagree. People fix disabilities all the time. Sometimes through medicine, others through prosthetics or technology etc etc.


That's not fixing a disability, that's making it easier to tolerate and live with. If taking whatever helps (medication, fake limb etc.) away means the problems come back, then it's not fixed, it's just being controlled... I have some stuff that's been put in my body because of my disability, but it's not fixing it, it just controls the symptoms in a way that prevents them from killing me. If they were taken away without being replaced by new ones, I would not be fixed, I'd be dead.

It's true that some things, like problems caused by autism, can fade away with time, but it's not because the autism dissapears (=gets fixed), it's because the person has found ways to deal with it so that it won't bother them anymore. When a person loses an arm, he becomes disabled and he's still disabled when he learns to live with just one arm even if there aren't so many problems in his life anymore because of it.


Doesn't make it any less worthwhile.

I bet NONE of my friends/family that wear hearing aids would give them up and say "F it, I'd rather not hear as much as possible."

And same applies to me with ASD; I treat & manage my symptoms with natural medicines and it allows me to live a much fuller life of work/play/socializing. It requires that I continue to take said medicine vs. a one shot deal and I'm good to go for life, but so what? I'm okay with "fixes," requiring maintenance vs. being permanent. I much prefer it over no fix at all.


I completely agree. I just wanted to point out the difference I see between "fixing" and "learning to deal with it."