My husband has no respect

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I'm about to leave my husband with my uncle as I work, but he sorely lacks respect.... My uncle has a rule that the door isn't supposed to be left wide open so his dog doesn't run off and also he is supposed to be drinking less liquids because of swelling in the legs, but as soon as I take a bath, I come back and he has the door wide open and is drinking a pop after having several other beverages earlier today. When I remind him of my uncle's rule he called my uncle a "dictator" and declared he was going to do as he wished. To make it worse, the only reason why I took the bath was because he wanted something later that he phrased very crudely. On top of that, he's angry I didn't cook dinner tonight and left it up to him to find something to eat.

Honestly he's been like this a long time and I don't think my uncle will put up with it well... I'm semi considering serving him with divorse papers... Only good thing is he seems to support my job though, but he doesn't even care if I visit him on my days off and of course he will financially benefit and lately all he talks about is what he's gonna do if he gets his SSI and gets his backpay... I'm feeling very unloved and that he only cares of how he can benefit from our relationship.

Tell him that what he’s going to do with the back pay is give it to you as you’ve been supporting him.

I'm sorry you are going through this. I have no advice to offer, just my sympathy as I have been frustrated by a husband too. (Not my current spouse but the former.)

I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have been so abrupt.

I was angry when I posted that, he's been talking about buying a camper with his money and if I get additional jobs just move the camper to live in because of what's partally going on is my husband rightfully doesn't like everything my uncle does, but then that makes husband not even want to keep reasonable requests, etc....

My mental health caseworker thought I well need this break from both these men!

Whose dog was it? Why shouldn't the dog go out?
You know, I would also be rebellious if someone ordered me how much I eat and drink, esp. with this "I'm to be obeyed" voice. Maybe your husband is also this rebellious type.

Yeah, it's likely it would do you good if you took some rest from them both.

Uncle's dog, she can go out but not unsupervised. My husband leaves the door open because the computer he likes to play on is close to the door and it often gets hot in that room and there's no air conditioning and the window in that room doesn't open.

If you're at someone else's home, you'd better "rebel" by leaving.

Personally, I prefer that way. It's clear and clean.

I suspect his idea of buying a camper may be all about this.

Another sign of incapadability, driving through a forest today I was wishing I could go explore it but what came out of my husband's mouth was "if I owned this land, I'd have all the trees cut and sell them for some major profit! Ugghhh.... I complained and then he said "you sound like those people who don't eat meat now!" I'm an environmental person and I didn't really realize he cared so little.

Can I tell you something, Angnix? I was also incompatible with my first husband. Sometimes when he was feeling stressed, he would say "I feel like I need to go out in the woods and kill something." And I am a believer in nonviolence. I wish I had ended the marriage much earlier. Life is short.

Anyway - you don't need to make any big decisions tonight.

That's kind of stupid and short-sighted. You cannot grow valuable trees after you destroy the forest. They need the complex ecosystem.
I love trees myself but even simple economy is on your side.

If your unhappy in your marriage its time to leave him.

Is he the aspie and blissfully unaware of your thoughts? Rather than keep these things to yourself until you serve him with divorce papers, why not talk about them with him? Or suggest to him that you two consider couples counselling in order to have a more balanced understanding of each other vs. stressing one another?

I see you venting your complaints about him.. but is he even aware of what they are and what you think about them?

Divorce shouldn't be off the table. It's just that other communication efforts should be at least attempted first, IMO. There's a reason you two got married in the first place & that should be worth the effort to try to resolve your differences before deciding to part ways.

I'm the aspiesh woman, he's pretty nt. We are very much aware of how we feel and constantly fighting all the time and me going off to my job will probably just move the fights to over the phone. I feel like he doesn't care about me anymore and talking about how much he wants SSI is incompatible with me wanting a career because he would rather live on less money if it means I'm not working and staying with him all the time. He denands constant attention which wears on me.

I'm not sure if he should be called romantic or just lazy... I mean it's nice if your husband wants to spend time with you, but choosing to become a burden to society just because of that? Nope, sounds pretty lazy. Do you know why he wants you to stay around so bad? Does he want to control you, does he really just want to spend time with you or does he want you at home so that you'll take care of all the chores and he doesn't have to? All of those? Something else?

Also, do you still feel like you love him and that you want things to start working between you two again? 'Cause if the answer is no to those then there's no reason to not get a divorce.