Suicide

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Why Aspergers people think about suicide? I been thinking about suicide alot, I stopped thinking about it. I was thinking about suicide more when I’m texting my sister or getting upset daily. I’m learning to calm down more by watching cartoons, listening to music or playing games. Your family should not make you feel like you want to kill yourselve.

I totally agree.

Because humans are a social species, being part of society is vital for our mental health. In a way I think a lot of us are like zoo animals we exists but are not free to exhibit our natural behaviour.

Suicidal rumination is my go to when feeling threatened. I am experimenting with ways to live in a state of safety and openness. The experience of impending annihilation is real in the sense of what I experience internally although this does not hold up to scrutiny when I ask the question "how are things really?".

"We see the world, not as it is, but as we are."
~ some people have been known to say such a thing.

1.) 70% of AS people are sensitive to a class of food acids (salicylate acids) due to the increased intestinal permeability caused by gut dybiosis and it's compounded by a deficiency in magnesium & sulphur. Build up of these acids is a chemical cause of suicidal thoughts.

2.) Your family don't "make you," feel like you want to kill yourself. Your thoughts do. It's your reaction and your thoughts about your family that make you feel that way. your family MIGHT be very difficult, rude, negative, even nasty awful people - but it's your reaction to & thoughts about them that make you feel emotions. Someone who is not depressed might experience the same negativity from your family members, and instead of reacting with depressive thoughts of suicide, they might think "Omfg you're ridiculous!! I'm not going to listen to your crap and let you bring me down." and then just walk away and go about their business doing whatever it is they want to do. Thoughts, not other people, dictate emotions.

OTHER PEOPLE can influence thoughts. If your family is nasty to you and abuses you, then yes, you are going to be negative. Because you don't have anything positive to ruminate on. It's been proven scientifically that it is easier to remember a negative event than a positive one; so if most, if not all of your memories are negative, than yes, you are going to be negative and possibly even see suicide as the only way out. A LOT of us autistics are abused, have families that hate us and treat us like s**t and do not have that many positive memories to ruminate on.

My point is that other people cannot think our thoughts for us. Only we can. Our reactions to things depend on a multitude of health factors, including whether someone is depressed or anxious or not etc. The very same negative act by another person may be reacted to in one person's mind with angry thoughts towards them, while another might just roll their eyes and carry on, someone else thinks negative depressive suicidal thoughts, and another person yet thinks the negative actions are so stupid they're laughable so they have a chuckle and carry on doing whatever they're doing. The person who committed the negative act didn't cause or force any of the thoughts & reactions each other person in the room had about them. The reactions & thoughts about them are independent and personal.

But there are things people can do & learn in order to improve their thoughts, their mood, their reactions to things. There are always going to be people who do things we don't like, even to us, but it's our reactions to & thoughts about them that dictate how we feel about those people and those things.

I want to die but after both my parents die because i don't want to live in a world without them. There's no one else who loves And needs me.

Goldfish, could you run that by me again in plain English, and perhaps add suggestions as to groceries that may be involved?

This
Existing isn’t life.

I exist but I don’t live. It’s just a shell of what life could be and is to most people

For us, life is like trying to swim up a river. It becomes too hard at times. I wanted to jump out of a two story window at work yesterday after crying 3 times that morning.

Unfortunately, it’s a regular occurrence. Good on you for finding an outlet to help you calm down.

Last edited by hale_bopp on 30 May 2018, 6:13 am, edited 1 time in total.

Interesting you say that, goldfish. I’ve always had gut problems and I take 4 magnesium supplements a day. I couldn’t survive without them.

Behold: My pill cupboard.

Last edited by hale_bopp on 30 May 2018, 6:29 am, edited 1 time in total.

Chocolate is rich in magnesium. Might be why it tends to help so much

I was with my family driving through down the other month and it really depressed me for a few days. It brought back memories of when I had friends and went places and experienced things. In the past 9 years I have had less than 100 days outside of the house and most of those just mean going to my parents or something.

Salicylate acids are in nearly every plant & are especially highly concentrated in spices/herbs/oils, apples, almonds, mint & definitely GMO foods. They're plants natural pesticide & preservative, so apples are specially bread to increase those acids for those properties, and GMO foods are modified to increase sals for the same bu$ine$$ reasons. Bugs eat fewer crops, and the fruit lasts longer to sell.

We're sensitive to them due to increased permeability of our intestinal linings caused by gut dysbiosis. Bad stuff grows in our intestines & shreds holes through our digestive tract. Then everything we eat leaks into our blood stream and trips out our brains with chemicals that were never intended to be in our blood. This is why I've been sharing here for 5+ years that healing & cleansing my digestive tract and balancing it with probiotics = night and day difference in functioning levels. But that goes far beyond food acids.

Back to the acids.. if we take stimulant drugs for ADHD, like I used to (Dextroamphetamine), they leach magnesium & sulphur out of our bodies. (and most people are simply deficient in them, anyways.) We require these minerals to bond to excess food acids so that we can excrete them out via urination.

Back 5+ years ago when I first figured this out I was experiencing the W O R S T imaginable anxiety & depression of my entire life and it just kept getting worse (as measured by a quantifiable depression test I did daily) for 5 months straight. When I learned all of this, I realized that the natural remedies I had been consuming & putting on my skin were sky high in sals and I was accidentally poisoning myself! I immediately quit eating anything with sals for quite some time - I had 4 different types of salt to season my food with because they tasted different. And the antidote? Magnesium sulphate.. epsom salts. I started putting epsom salts on my skin & within 5 days the WORST depression of my entire life was all but completely lifted. Anxiety, too. And audio sensitivity. And executive functions began to improve. (This is also the cause of the dark circles under many of our eyes, too.)

We absorb more salts through the bottom of our feet than any other skin, which is why it's common to do a foot soak. For thousands of years people thought that epsom salts "drew toxins out through your skin," in order to provide the calming effect that they do, but it's actually the opposite. We absorb the salts through our skin when soaking in a bath of hot water and epsom salts, and then our bodies have the minerals we need in order to excrete the excess acids. When we're deficient in these minerals, and sensitive to the excess buildup of food acids, we also tend to have to urinate frequently (defined as more than 8x/day) & children often wet their beds at night.

Another symptom of salicylate sensitivity is "night terrors," which I can recall having as a young ~6-8yo child, where we see dark shadowy figures out of the corner of our eyes and feel.. terrified. A few years ago I was laying in bed and FREAKING OUT at the feeling of the presence of a "demonic child," in my room.. complete with kicking my blankets up in the air when I sensed it was "near me." Then, like someone having a bad drug trip, through my panic'd breathing I was able to think clearly and was like "Hmmm, this seems like the night terrors induced by salicylate acids... wtf?" And then it hit me: I had just painted salicylic acid on my heel (to finish killing a wart, ew gross.) & my skin must be broken and the acids are getting directly into my blood! I leapt out of bed, washed my foot off, put some epsom salts and water on my skin, and ate about a teaspoon of epsom salts and washed it down with a glass of water.. 5 minutes later, totally calm & ready to fall back asleep.

I can now eat sals in super human quantities and not suffer any negative effects from them because I've done the things & eaten the things required to heal my intestines, so they're no longer as permeated and leaky as they once were. Plus I continue to use epsom salts on my skin nearly daily.

If someone is experiencing all of these negative headspace symptoms they can put epsom salts on their skin and wait patiently, but they can also eat some. They taste kinda bitter and weird, but, it's medicine and it works. The worst possible side effect to eating a bit too much would be their laxative effect - but I've never experienced this the few times I've eaten any (drank them mixed in a bit of water) & I have no idea how much you'd have to eat to cause diarrhea. IMO, if someone is legit feeling suicidal, the risk of having a laxative effect is moot. Just eat the salts and calm down.

There's a bunch of the science about ASD & leaky gut in this medical study, as well as plenty of other information that backs up all of the gut healing & balancing things I've been doing for myself for the last 5+ years and sharing here: https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC5408485/




Yep. I just buy 4kg of epsom salts at walmart or wherever for like $9 and they last for like a year or w/e.

I had a much better lif when I was younger. Didn’t realize it then