Deleted my last thread here.

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cberg
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30 Jul 2018, 2:16 pm

This might be the last time I bother starting one. 35 clicks & zero replies basically says it all.

I'm too damn shy to merit a response anywhere.


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RichardJ
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30 Jul 2018, 2:24 pm

You've got a reply out of me; what is on your mind today?


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qwerwe
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30 Jul 2018, 2:24 pm

How long you had your thread here?


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cberg
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30 Jul 2018, 2:48 pm

I suppose that's kind of beside the point for me. I'm out of town for a week & 2 or 3 friends asked when I get back but I can't stop thinking I just shouldn't contact anyone else unless they ask for me by name.

Making myself available went nowhere so the only other option seems like the total opposite. The default option is just to disappear until I'm no longer irrelevant.


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fifasy
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30 Jul 2018, 2:49 pm

Shyness is horrible. You're not alone here. Most of us are shy. I wish people would reply more, there are too many lurkers, but they don't mean harm, they just don't feel confident.



hurtloam
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30 Jul 2018, 2:55 pm

Or we want to help, but can't think of anything useful to say. What advice can I give, my life is a mess.



disconnected412
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30 Jul 2018, 2:58 pm

Have you been to Boulder Beer? I have, it was cool. I’d like to move out there but it seems the cost of living is really high compared to here.



RichardJ
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30 Jul 2018, 2:59 pm

cberg wrote:
I suppose that's kind of beside the point for me. I'm out of town for a week & 2 or 3 friends asked when I get back but I can't stop thinking I just shouldn't contact anyone else unless they ask for me by name.

Making myself available went nowhere so the only other option seems like the total opposite. The default option is just to disappear until I'm no longer irrelevant.


Sounds like you have a fear of bothering people, sadly I have the same. You just have to remember that in reality you aren't. This is more difficult than it sounds, though.


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fifasy
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30 Jul 2018, 3:17 pm

hurtloam wrote:
Or we want to help, but can't think of anything useful to say. What advice can I give, my life is a mess.


For what it's worth I think you always say useful things.

Part of the difficulty is trying to figure out what someone wants. What often goes through my head is: Does the original poster/person I'm replying to want a joke, a similar experience I went through, sympathy, advice (and if so medical/spiritual/religious/practical/psychological/straitforward/an alternative perspective?)



SabbraCadabra
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30 Jul 2018, 3:22 pm

"Tons of views, no replies" sounds like the Internet to me.


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fluffysaurus
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30 Jul 2018, 4:01 pm

I don't start many threads because I get so few responses and those I do get tend to be the same people and then I wonder if they've responded because they feel sorry for me.

I don't have an answer for you, sorry, except that the threads with the most responses are the ones with either the simplest questions or where there is obviously going to be controversy (and no originality).



cberg
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30 Jul 2018, 5:10 pm

hurtloam wrote:
Or we want to help, but can't think of anything useful to say. What advice can I give, my life is a mess.


I guess a mess is just a state of nature to me. I'm more just looking to check myself than for any particular kind of advice at this point since I have to work a lot & wait around even more before I figure much of anything out socially.


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"I fly through hyperspace, in my green computer interface"
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Last edited by cberg on 30 Jul 2018, 5:25 pm, edited 1 time in total.

cberg
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30 Jul 2018, 5:23 pm

disconnected412 wrote:
Have you been to Boulder Beer? I have, it was cool. I’d like to move out there but it seems the cost of living is really high compared to here.


Yeah it's probably time to crack one soon. We have so many it's hard to even think of my favorite brewery, I'm a serious beer snob as a result so my tastes aren't just local; Upslope, Avery & Odd13 are some of my favorites. I make some effort to at least not drink as much as others around me though so I'm more into MMJ.

I just live with family & work a fair bit to afford it, but my work situation for the past 2 years has been terrible. Plenty of demand for technical skill & research but very little concern for paying me. There's just no motivation any more, my last two bosses combined skipped over $20,000 in back pay by this point and I don't see how working even harder could possibly do anything for me socially. I'm not someone interested in status & that's not how anybody knows me anyway. My only question in this whole thread is how does being shy misrepresent someone who spends too much time with machines? I'm not actually an introvert so I seem to be in a serious gray area here.


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-Georges Lemaitre
"I fly through hyperspace, in my green computer interface"
-Gem Tos :mrgreen:


cberg
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30 Jul 2018, 8:03 pm

fifasy wrote:
Shyness is horrible. You're not alone here. Most of us are shy. I wish people would reply more, there are too many lurkers, but they don't mean harm, they just don't feel confident.


It's not that anything offended me, I just feel incomprehensible. A number of users a while ago jumped to conclusions about some advice threads I started so I've kind of backed off from even looking for help.

btw thanks for clicking when you're already dealing with so much of your own troubles.


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-Georges Lemaitre
"I fly through hyperspace, in my green computer interface"
-Gem Tos :mrgreen:


kraftiekortie
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30 Jul 2018, 8:05 pm

I don't reply because I "feel sorry" for anybody.

I reply because I wanted to reply.



cberg
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30 Jul 2018, 10:09 pm

Personally I can't seem to talk or type unless I know I have something coherent to add or a way to help. Otherwise I have to plan what I say or I'm just at a loss.


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-Georges Lemaitre
"I fly through hyperspace, in my green computer interface"
-Gem Tos :mrgreen: